Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! See you in 2009!

Last Thoughts

It's the last day of work and I am getting ready to go home for a 10-day break. I need this. I am super tired, I really want some time with my hubby and kids, and I am hoping to enjoy the end of the year as it's my favorite season. Livi tagged me for this Yearly Review Post, and I really want to do this, but it's just so...much effort and really looooong. Livi asked me how one learns if one doesn't review and assess. I thought about this for a while and this is my take. I don't need to review so much because a lot of the things I really liked and disliked I still remember today. In fact, I remember a lot of things from last year and the year before as well, to be honest. For the positives, I focus on what I think I did right, the root and reason behind it, and try to keep doing that. For the negatives, well, this is tough for me. I tend to really over-think and over-feel things. Because of this, I don't relish rehashing everything because this just brings whatever emotions I felt at the time back to the forefront. And after I've looked at a situation, thought about it a bajillion times, tried to look for alternatives, tried to live those solutions, it isn't a good idea for me to go back to the beginning, when feelings were hurt. So, will I be doing the tag? I don't know yet. But I do know what went on this year, both good and bad.

Mandy Knows Me Too

"Wild Hope"

In the crazy world
Anything can happen
If you will it to
I'm just a hazy girl
Blurring all the edges
Only seeing blue

[CHORUS]
It's a Wild Hope
A Wild Hope
A Wild Hope
Everything will be alright

Lost inside
A painting of a city on a hotel wall

Days goes by
Wasting golden hours in the fall

[CHORUS]

I catch a glimpse of our reflection
Beside you I see myself
We are the season's new collection
We look like everybody else

Walk alone
Through the crowded streets into the fading grey
Here and gone
Like a decoration for the holiday

[CHORUS]

I like Maandy Moore. I like her voice and I like the lyrics of her songs. Speaks to my heart.

2 out of 3

Well, I posted some months ago how I was feeling really bummed about the impending departures of colleagues who are also good friends. 2 of 3 have left already. I am officially depressed about it. I knew it was going to happen. I prepared for it. This is normal. But I still feel bad. I am not good at goodbyes.

I miss you Jonj and Am.

"What is Your Love Based On?"

Your Love is Based on Commitment

You believe that love is something that develops and grows. You don't believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love. For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding. You don't feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you're both in it for the long run. Why your love can last: You don't take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily Why your love can fail: You're so committed, you often can't see the most obvious problems in your relationship

What Is Your Love Based On?

Poetry for my Children

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Christmas Love

Ok, in line with the whole 'think about the good stuff' thing, I decided to make a short list of reasons why l love Christmas. Here it is:

1. I love the lights and the decor. I know, shallow but true.
2. I love the food! All the special dishes, reserved only for this time of the year sends this food lover into a state of bliss.
3. I love the way everyone seems to be so nostalgic and teary-eyed about...everything. The hidden romantic in me surfacing again?
4. I love to watch my kids squeal in delight when they open their gifts.
5. I love seeing the wonder in my kids eyes when they look at the parol or the tree or all the sparklies everywhere.
6. I love talking to them about Santa and being good and loving people.
7. I love meeting friends and catching up over good food, wine and/or coffee. I know this should be done more often but at least Christmas dinner is a given.
8. I love giving and receiving gifts. Yes, for all those people choking and snorting over the 'giving' part. Believe it or not, I am always excited about Christmas shopping. No matter how small the budget.
9. I love simbang gabi. This is the only novena I even contemplate doing.
10. I love that it is the longest paid holiday in my year. I am seriously considering ways to change this last point though.

So there you go. Christmas love in a nutshell. I am sure there are a million and one more reasons why I love the season but these are what come to mind for now.

Christmas Rush

I tell myself every year that I will start my Christmas shopping early to avoid the mad rush near the 25th. I tell myself and I never follow. This year, I am rushing again. But I am pleased that I have almost all my shopping done- and this by buying a little here and there along the way. I am even more pleased that my budget this year fit almost everyone I wanted to give gifts to and yet was not exorbitantly huge. There are things to be happy about. Yippee! I am also happy that I am finally feeling the Christmas spirit. I think I am really trying to focus on the good things here and I'm trying to deal with the not so good ones one at a time and slowly. So far, so good. I hope this stays this way.
My biggest dilemma at the moment is what to get the hubby. He wants a PSP but that is just too expensive. I was thinking clothes since he has a lot of t-shirts but not a lot of going out shirts. But it seems too practical to be a gift. I don't know. I want to maximize my budget, however small, and still give a gift he will like. This is hard. Suggestions?

Thinking About Relationships Too

This is in direct reflection over Livi's post. I think she had A LOT of interesting things to say there. And since I've also honestly been thinking a lot about relationships recently (thanks to Twilight actually), it felt good to read some sane words for a change.

What is happening that so many couples are falling out of love?

Could it be we expect too much? Do we think marriage is about living in a constant state of extreme passion and euphoria? Are we wanting our spouse to solve all our problems, fulfill all our dreams, and be the perfect man or woman?

It's so easy to fall into this trap. I've had many a wiser friend tell me that this was just hogwash and, for the most part, I agree. But sometimes I find myself thinking, is it really crap or are we just told that it's crap to make it easier to accept less? What is wrong with that state of passion or euphoria? I am sure I would be able to maintain this, given a conducive situation. And while I don't think any one person can be perfect, what is wrong with close to perfection? I am not the kind of person to expect a white knight to come galloping to the rescue, but it would be nice to be rescued every now and then. Just as it's nice to do the rescuing every now and then as well.

Perhaps we don’t feel love because we have stopped loving?

This is so hard when you are pissed off...ok, perhaps not to stop loving entirely but maybe to be demonstrative about it. And when you are naturally introverted, not very showy, quite emotional in general, this can be even more difficult in moments of negativity.

Or maybe we forget that our marriage is only as successful as the couple makes it.

Ah yes. We return to the crux of it all. And I agree. And again, this is hard work! I want that book Livi keeps raving about!

Scrooge This Year

The holidays are almost upon us and I have yet to do my Christmas shopping. Christmas is my favorite time of the year and, oddly enough, I haven't been feeling the cheer yet. Normally, I am swimming in it by now. My house is usually fully decorated by this time and I am gleefully choosing presents for my hubby, kids, family, and friends. As of today, I have done...nothing. Strange. I really think I have to get out of this rut. It's kinda hard though since I am not exactly sure where the rut is coming from.

I resolve to finish my Christmas decorating and gift buying this coming weekend. And, I HAVE TO FIND THE CHEER! HEEEEELLLP!

Wish...

"You are the most important thing to me now. You are the most important thing ever."

How...?

Tired

I really am.

I said this to a friend. A probable reason why I am so taken by the Twilight series is the unwavering commitment between Bella and Edward. Come what may (yes, you can sing the sickeningly sweet song from Moulin Rouge), they are for each other. And, as much as possible, neither would ever do anything to causes the other hurt or harm. Forget that Bella is often, in my opinion, too needy, sometimes idiotic and spineless. HE loves her, totally and completely. Only her. Always just her. Sigh. I would kill...

Twilight Test Retaken

Twilight Quiz by QuizRocket.com fun quizzes!
» » Christmas Trivia Quiz - Naughty or Nice? « «
Make a Quiz | Christmas Song Lyrics | Twilight Quizzes | Dumb MySpace Quizzes

I posted before that I would take the test again after reading the book. Here arae my results. I think I like this better. hehehe.

"If I Had My Life to Live Over"

I got these from my friend, Adjeng's, FB note. They struck me so I thought I would share them here.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - Nadine Stair

This is a very interesting response from a lady in Louisville, KY when asked on her 93rd birthday what she would do differently if she had her life to live over.

“If I had my life to live over, I would dare to make more mistakes next time.
I would relax.
I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I’ve been this time.
I would take fewer things seriously, and I would take more chances.
I’d take more trips; I’d climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream, and fewer beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

"You see, I am one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, but if I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else -just moments - one after another instead of living so many years ahead.

“I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot-water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and I would stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.”

Nadine Stair

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's". More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it and never give it back.

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.

Desiderata

When I was in elementary, I was made (along with the rest of my class) to memorize this poem for a year-end recital. I liked the poem back then. I liked the cadence, the free-flowing form and uncomplicated words. I also liked its message. I thought I understood it then. And I think I did to a certain extent. But now, around 6 months shy of my 30th birthday, I think I truly understand what each and every line and verse is saying. I love this poem. I want to teach it to my kids someday.

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

After Twilight

Ok, I get it now. I finally read and finished the book. In the beginning, I thought it was juvenile, a bit slow, and I was beginning to really dislike some characters. I was having a hard time figuring out what the big deal was. Well, towards the middle of the book I got it. Despite the teeny-bopper storyline, despite the one-track mindedness of it all, I enjoyed it. A lot actually. And what I enjoyed wasn't the characters so much or the story either. I enjoyed the emotions, the obsession, the intoxication of the love in the book. When Edward Cullen said, "Your are the most important thing to me now. You are the most important thing to me ever", I thought to myself, now THAT'S something I would kill to hear and feel and know. 48 hours after the end of the book and I am still thinking about it. Sigh. I kinda want to look out my window now and have my own name to whisper, my own obsessed vampire to sing me to sleep. Sigh, indeed.

By the way, the movie sucked. I hated the actors. I thought they were soo fake. I hated the make-up. It made everyone look ridiculous. If you can manage to make Peter Facinelli look ridiculous, you know you are not doing a good job at all. And the movie was like an MTV! It had none of the substance of the chapters in the book. I know that movie versions of books rarely live up to the written versions so I shouldn't have been surprised...but I was. There have been really good movie adaptations lately, especially with the technology these days so it was just SINFUL that the movie makers did such a bad job with the Twilight movie. Sigh.

I can't wait to read the next books.

*thanks Affie for the heads-up. Serves me right for not proofreading.