Monday, July 2, 2007

'Starter' Thoughts

My friends have been telling me for the longest time to start up a blog. They said that it is, at the very least, therapeutic and relaxing. And for someone like me, who loves to talk and who has numerous, often useless thoughts floating in her brain, this would actually be an ideal medium for me to find some release.

So here I am. Starting a blog.

I am not very 'techie' and so this new project admittedly scares me a bit. But I've decided to try it out anyway and just go where the wind takes me.

I thought, what better topic to start out my blog than some ideas I was playing with earlier about being a mother. To be more specific, I was thinking while freshening up in the Loo early this afternoon (ideas hit me at odd times), 'what really makes a good mom?' I often hear fellow moms say that the best moms are those that are 100% hands-on. Those that manage every single detail of their kids lives. In fact, I was semi-told off by a friend a few days ago about how some of the chores I assign to my yaya's are actually supposed to be my tasks. I've also heard of stories of moms who have been told that because they were not super hands-on in the day-to-day activities of their kids, that their 'mothering' was lacking. Is this really the definition of a good mom? Following that thought to the end, moms who have full-time jobs are not good moms. Even moms who have part-time jobs are not good moms. Being a full-time working mom myself, I didn't like this conclusion. I've always thought that moms need work or some activity to be fuller, more mature, and interesting people and parents to their kids. Aside from the obvious, practical reasons for holding a job, I would always find myself agreeing with friends and office mates that I probably would not want to NOT have a job, even if I could afford this state. And yet I often find myself fighting off feelings of inadequacy every single time I leave to go to the office, or when I would find out amusing stories of what my son did during the day from his yaya, or what new words he's formed, etc.
What then really is a good mom? I still don't have the answer to this question to be honest. What I hold on to every time I feel like a wanting mom is something my very good friend mentioned to me not too long ago. She asked me, one cel phone conversation, how I felt being a mom of 2. I told her how sometimes I just didn't feel like I was doing a good job but that I was really doing my best. And she told me " that's really all your kids can ask for- your best".
So I guess, for now, for me, a good mom is one that gives her genuine and absolute best-however imperfect this may seem to others. I hope I'm not wrong.

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