Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to all! See you in 2009!

Last Thoughts

It's the last day of work and I am getting ready to go home for a 10-day break. I need this. I am super tired, I really want some time with my hubby and kids, and I am hoping to enjoy the end of the year as it's my favorite season. Livi tagged me for this Yearly Review Post, and I really want to do this, but it's just so...much effort and really looooong. Livi asked me how one learns if one doesn't review and assess. I thought about this for a while and this is my take. I don't need to review so much because a lot of the things I really liked and disliked I still remember today. In fact, I remember a lot of things from last year and the year before as well, to be honest. For the positives, I focus on what I think I did right, the root and reason behind it, and try to keep doing that. For the negatives, well, this is tough for me. I tend to really over-think and over-feel things. Because of this, I don't relish rehashing everything because this just brings whatever emotions I felt at the time back to the forefront. And after I've looked at a situation, thought about it a bajillion times, tried to look for alternatives, tried to live those solutions, it isn't a good idea for me to go back to the beginning, when feelings were hurt. So, will I be doing the tag? I don't know yet. But I do know what went on this year, both good and bad.

Mandy Knows Me Too

"Wild Hope"

In the crazy world
Anything can happen
If you will it to
I'm just a hazy girl
Blurring all the edges
Only seeing blue

[CHORUS]
It's a Wild Hope
A Wild Hope
A Wild Hope
Everything will be alright

Lost inside
A painting of a city on a hotel wall

Days goes by
Wasting golden hours in the fall

[CHORUS]

I catch a glimpse of our reflection
Beside you I see myself
We are the season's new collection
We look like everybody else

Walk alone
Through the crowded streets into the fading grey
Here and gone
Like a decoration for the holiday

[CHORUS]

I like Maandy Moore. I like her voice and I like the lyrics of her songs. Speaks to my heart.

2 out of 3

Well, I posted some months ago how I was feeling really bummed about the impending departures of colleagues who are also good friends. 2 of 3 have left already. I am officially depressed about it. I knew it was going to happen. I prepared for it. This is normal. But I still feel bad. I am not good at goodbyes.

I miss you Jonj and Am.

"What is Your Love Based On?"

Your Love is Based on Commitment

You believe that love is something that develops and grows. You don't believe in love at first site, and you never mistake lust for love. For you, love is about mutual devotion, respect, and understanding. You don't feel comfortable in a relationship, unless you're both in it for the long run. Why your love can last: You don't take commitment lightly - or leave relationships easily Why your love can fail: You're so committed, you often can't see the most obvious problems in your relationship

What Is Your Love Based On?

Poetry for my Children

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Christmas Love

Ok, in line with the whole 'think about the good stuff' thing, I decided to make a short list of reasons why l love Christmas. Here it is:

1. I love the lights and the decor. I know, shallow but true.
2. I love the food! All the special dishes, reserved only for this time of the year sends this food lover into a state of bliss.
3. I love the way everyone seems to be so nostalgic and teary-eyed about...everything. The hidden romantic in me surfacing again?
4. I love to watch my kids squeal in delight when they open their gifts.
5. I love seeing the wonder in my kids eyes when they look at the parol or the tree or all the sparklies everywhere.
6. I love talking to them about Santa and being good and loving people.
7. I love meeting friends and catching up over good food, wine and/or coffee. I know this should be done more often but at least Christmas dinner is a given.
8. I love giving and receiving gifts. Yes, for all those people choking and snorting over the 'giving' part. Believe it or not, I am always excited about Christmas shopping. No matter how small the budget.
9. I love simbang gabi. This is the only novena I even contemplate doing.
10. I love that it is the longest paid holiday in my year. I am seriously considering ways to change this last point though.

So there you go. Christmas love in a nutshell. I am sure there are a million and one more reasons why I love the season but these are what come to mind for now.

Christmas Rush

I tell myself every year that I will start my Christmas shopping early to avoid the mad rush near the 25th. I tell myself and I never follow. This year, I am rushing again. But I am pleased that I have almost all my shopping done- and this by buying a little here and there along the way. I am even more pleased that my budget this year fit almost everyone I wanted to give gifts to and yet was not exorbitantly huge. There are things to be happy about. Yippee! I am also happy that I am finally feeling the Christmas spirit. I think I am really trying to focus on the good things here and I'm trying to deal with the not so good ones one at a time and slowly. So far, so good. I hope this stays this way.
My biggest dilemma at the moment is what to get the hubby. He wants a PSP but that is just too expensive. I was thinking clothes since he has a lot of t-shirts but not a lot of going out shirts. But it seems too practical to be a gift. I don't know. I want to maximize my budget, however small, and still give a gift he will like. This is hard. Suggestions?

Thinking About Relationships Too

This is in direct reflection over Livi's post. I think she had A LOT of interesting things to say there. And since I've also honestly been thinking a lot about relationships recently (thanks to Twilight actually), it felt good to read some sane words for a change.

What is happening that so many couples are falling out of love?

Could it be we expect too much? Do we think marriage is about living in a constant state of extreme passion and euphoria? Are we wanting our spouse to solve all our problems, fulfill all our dreams, and be the perfect man or woman?

It's so easy to fall into this trap. I've had many a wiser friend tell me that this was just hogwash and, for the most part, I agree. But sometimes I find myself thinking, is it really crap or are we just told that it's crap to make it easier to accept less? What is wrong with that state of passion or euphoria? I am sure I would be able to maintain this, given a conducive situation. And while I don't think any one person can be perfect, what is wrong with close to perfection? I am not the kind of person to expect a white knight to come galloping to the rescue, but it would be nice to be rescued every now and then. Just as it's nice to do the rescuing every now and then as well.

Perhaps we don’t feel love because we have stopped loving?

This is so hard when you are pissed off...ok, perhaps not to stop loving entirely but maybe to be demonstrative about it. And when you are naturally introverted, not very showy, quite emotional in general, this can be even more difficult in moments of negativity.

Or maybe we forget that our marriage is only as successful as the couple makes it.

Ah yes. We return to the crux of it all. And I agree. And again, this is hard work! I want that book Livi keeps raving about!

Scrooge This Year

The holidays are almost upon us and I have yet to do my Christmas shopping. Christmas is my favorite time of the year and, oddly enough, I haven't been feeling the cheer yet. Normally, I am swimming in it by now. My house is usually fully decorated by this time and I am gleefully choosing presents for my hubby, kids, family, and friends. As of today, I have done...nothing. Strange. I really think I have to get out of this rut. It's kinda hard though since I am not exactly sure where the rut is coming from.

I resolve to finish my Christmas decorating and gift buying this coming weekend. And, I HAVE TO FIND THE CHEER! HEEEEELLLP!

Wish...

"You are the most important thing to me now. You are the most important thing ever."

How...?

Tired

I really am.

I said this to a friend. A probable reason why I am so taken by the Twilight series is the unwavering commitment between Bella and Edward. Come what may (yes, you can sing the sickeningly sweet song from Moulin Rouge), they are for each other. And, as much as possible, neither would ever do anything to causes the other hurt or harm. Forget that Bella is often, in my opinion, too needy, sometimes idiotic and spineless. HE loves her, totally and completely. Only her. Always just her. Sigh. I would kill...

Twilight Test Retaken

Twilight Quiz by QuizRocket.com fun quizzes!
» » Christmas Trivia Quiz - Naughty or Nice? « «
Make a Quiz | Christmas Song Lyrics | Twilight Quizzes | Dumb MySpace Quizzes

I posted before that I would take the test again after reading the book. Here arae my results. I think I like this better. hehehe.

"If I Had My Life to Live Over"

I got these from my friend, Adjeng's, FB note. They struck me so I thought I would share them here.

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - Nadine Stair

This is a very interesting response from a lady in Louisville, KY when asked on her 93rd birthday what she would do differently if she had her life to live over.

“If I had my life to live over, I would dare to make more mistakes next time.
I would relax.
I would limber up.
I would be sillier than I’ve been this time.
I would take fewer things seriously, and I would take more chances.
I’d take more trips; I’d climb more mountains and swim more rivers.
I would eat more ice cream, and fewer beans.
I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.

"You see, I am one of those people who lived sensibly and sanely, hour after hour, day after day. Oh, I’ve had my moments, but if I had it to do over again, I’d have more of them. In fact, I’d try to have nothing else -just moments - one after another instead of living so many years ahead.

“I’ve been one of those persons who never goes anywhere without a thermometer, a hot-water bottle, a raincoat, and a parachute.
If I had my life to live over, I would start barefoot earlier in the spring, and I would stay that way later in the fall.
I would go to more dances.
I would ride more merry-go-rounds.
I would pick more daisies.”

Nadine Stair

IF I HAD MY LIFE TO LIVE OVER - by Erma Bombeck
(written after she found out she was dying from cancer)

I would have gone to bed when I was sick instead of pretending the earth would go into a holding pattern if I weren't there for the day.

I would have burned the pink candle sculpted like a rose before it melted in storage.

I would have talked less and listened more.

I would have invited friends over to dinner even if the carpet was stained, or the sofa faded.

I would have eaten the popcorn in the 'good' living room and worried much less about the dirt when someone wanted to light a fire in the fireplace.

I would have taken the time to listen to my grandfather ramble about his youth.

I would have shared more of the responsibility carried by my husband.

I would never have insisted the car windows be rolled up on a summer day because my hair had just been teased and sprayed.

I would have sat on the lawn with my grass stains.

I would have cried and laughed less while watching television and more while watching life.

I would never have bought anything just because it was practical, wouldn't show soil, or was guaranteed to last a lifetime.

Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy, I'd have cherished every moment and realized that the wonderment growing inside me was the only chance in life to assist God in a miracle.

When my kids kissed me impetuously, I would never have said, "Later. Now go get washed up for dinner." There would have been more "I love you's". More "I'm sorry's."

But mostly, given another shot at life, I would seize every minute...look at it and really see it... live it and never give it back.

STOP SWEATING THE SMALL STUFF!!!

Don't worry about who doesn't like you, who has more, or who's doing what. Instead, let's cherish the relationships we have with those who do love us.

Let's think about what God HAS blessed us with, and what we are doing each day to promote ourselves mentally, physically, emotionally.

Desiderata

When I was in elementary, I was made (along with the rest of my class) to memorize this poem for a year-end recital. I liked the poem back then. I liked the cadence, the free-flowing form and uncomplicated words. I also liked its message. I thought I understood it then. And I think I did to a certain extent. But now, around 6 months shy of my 30th birthday, I think I truly understand what each and every line and verse is saying. I love this poem. I want to teach it to my kids someday.

-- written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s --
Not "Found in Old St. Paul's Church"! -- see below

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.

As far as possible, without surrender,
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even to the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons;
they are vexatious to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain or bitter,
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs,
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals,
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love,
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment,
it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be.
And whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life,
keep peace in your soul.

With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

After Twilight

Ok, I get it now. I finally read and finished the book. In the beginning, I thought it was juvenile, a bit slow, and I was beginning to really dislike some characters. I was having a hard time figuring out what the big deal was. Well, towards the middle of the book I got it. Despite the teeny-bopper storyline, despite the one-track mindedness of it all, I enjoyed it. A lot actually. And what I enjoyed wasn't the characters so much or the story either. I enjoyed the emotions, the obsession, the intoxication of the love in the book. When Edward Cullen said, "Your are the most important thing to me now. You are the most important thing to me ever", I thought to myself, now THAT'S something I would kill to hear and feel and know. 48 hours after the end of the book and I am still thinking about it. Sigh. I kinda want to look out my window now and have my own name to whisper, my own obsessed vampire to sing me to sleep. Sigh, indeed.

By the way, the movie sucked. I hated the actors. I thought they were soo fake. I hated the make-up. It made everyone look ridiculous. If you can manage to make Peter Facinelli look ridiculous, you know you are not doing a good job at all. And the movie was like an MTV! It had none of the substance of the chapters in the book. I know that movie versions of books rarely live up to the written versions so I shouldn't have been surprised...but I was. There have been really good movie adaptations lately, especially with the technology these days so it was just SINFUL that the movie makers did such a bad job with the Twilight movie. Sigh.

I can't wait to read the next books.

*thanks Affie for the heads-up. Serves me right for not proofreading.

Encouragement

Paolo Coelho said in his Plurk today : "You are not what you seem in moments of sadness. You are better than that."

I had a bad night. This is a great way to start the day.

More Parenting Tips

Most of my friends know that I am on a never-ending quest for the most applicable techniques for my growing cuties. I am certainly no expert so I utilize all the sources at my fingertips to get all the help possible. Here are some new ones that I thought were worth a try:

For disciplining: Instead of threatening (which can soo easily happen, especially after a long, hard day, and when your kids are especially active), you can:

You want your child to:	Instead of this:	Say this:	Which is better because:
Go to bed and stay there	"If you get out of bed one more time, I'll scream."	"After I put you to bed, I expect you to stay there."	The expectation for the behavior is clear and unemotional.
Eat her peas and carrots	"You're going to sit at the table until you finish your peas."	"Remember — we won't have a snack before bed."	It reminds her that the kitchen's closed, but she can still choose whether or not to eat.
Brush her teeth	"No bedtime story if you don't brush your teeth."	"It's time for bed. What do you do first to get ready?"	It lets her know it's time for her bedtime routine without being punitive.
Behave in the grocery store	"Stop running now or no TV when we get home."	"Can you help me find the cereal you like?"	It distracts from the negative behavior and offers a positive alternative.
Ask without whining	"If you whine once more, I'll take your sticker book away."	"I'd like to listen, but I can only understand your normal voice."	It lets her know you're interested in what she's saying, but won't accept the tone.
Clean up her room	"No dinner until your room is clean."	"I'd like you to pick up your toys and put them in your toy chest. Do you want to do that before or after dinner?"	It makes your expectations clear, but also gives your preschooler a choice.
Stop tattling	"I'm not taking a tattletale to the playground."	"It sounds like you're upset with your sister. You need to tell her why."	It helps your preschooler understand that kids have to work it out together.
Be quiet in the car	"If you scream one more time, we'll turn around and go home."	"I'm having a hard time driving. I need to pull over until you're settled."	It lets your child know the effect, limits, and consequences of her behavior.

I was so happy when I read this becuase I can confidently say that I have successfully done 50% in this table. Yippee! Snaps for moi everyone. Of course, these have only been tested on my son. My daughter just turned 1 so I am seeing if all my tactics with my young man will work with her.

Now, to avoid spoiling?

1. Set clear, simple limits
Think of it this way: If you leave no room for reinterpretation, you save yourself arguing later. Listen to the difference between "Oh okay, you can have a cookie..." (plenty of room for hope that a second one might be okay) and "You can have one cookie, but don't ask me for a second one. This is it."

2. Stick to those limits no matter what
One really means one. It's happened to all of us: We say no to more than one cookie, and then we start second-guessing ourselves. The trick here is to take a long-term view. Maybe a second cookie really would be okay just this once, but do you really want to be second-guessed every time you set a limit? That will happen if you change your story.

3. Never give in to begging
This one's simple — once you do, you've taught your child that begging works, right?

4. Make your child convince you
If she wants something you're not sure about, ask her to make a case for it. She wants to watch a favorite TV show? If she explains that all her homework is done and she's practiced piano, you can feel comfortable saying yes.

5. Require that chores get done before fun
You don't do your child any favors by being a softy. Studies show that being strict on chores and responsibilities helps him develop the ability to cope with frustration.

6. Don't be afraid to disappoint
We hate to see our kids sad, but the Stones said it best: You can't always get what you want. And studies show that learning to accept disappointment will give your child important coping skills to deal with emotional stress later in life.

7. Let them work for what they want
Many experts believe that kids become spoiled when things come too easily, encouraging them to take those things for granted. If your child wants a new bike, set up a reward system for good behavior and let him earn it bit by bit.


I love all the points on this list and I think they are totally do-able. The only one I see a problem with is number 3 and this is because it really is so hard to refuse when you have them looking at you with huge, pleading, puppy dog eyes accompanied by the most cajoling "please?" in the universe. Sigh. Yes, I see a problem with this point.

For those of you who have tried, or want to try these out, gimme some feedback!

(Tips courtesy of Baby Center)

Transformation # 1

I'm listening to a CD a friend gave me months ago titled "101 Ways to Transform Your Life". It's a bit like a self-help book but the audio version. The voice of the narrator is low and deep, the background music is just a few piano notes here and there, so it is very relaxing. I've listened to this and re-listened to this countless times over the months and I've always found some of my tension easing. So I decided to do a series of posts about the sayings that I found most memorable. Baby steps towards more positivity.

So the saying that hit me today was:
"Shed your fault finding tendencies...Your life is the product of all the choices you have made up until now and no one else is to blame for anything that is going on in your life. Circumstances don't make a man, they reveal him."

Some might not find this saying helpful because, at first glance, it kinda makes you feel like you're alone and pressured to get it just right. But it's the fact that you are in control, should be in control, and are therefore accountable for your actions appeals to me. I think a person should take responsibility for his/her choices, regardless of the outcome. And I also agree that the way a person handles this outcome, "reveals" the kind of person s/he is. So you should be careful, and think, and not just make spur-of-the-moment decisions- this I love.

I think this posting about sayings thing is a good idea. And to think, there are 101 of them!! So much material for me to reflect on. I feel better now.

I love Chicken!

I've been feeling anxious, restless, and uneasy about a lot of things lately and I don't want to post about it again because I'm beginning to hate reading what I've written. So for this post I am going to focus on one thing I love, love, love--- FOOD!

I love chicken. This is the easiest thing in the world to cook, it's very versatile, my kids and hubby love it, and it isn't too expensive. Perfect.

But since I am not a true-blue cook, with a bajillion recipes, and the experience and knowledge to create something from scratch (Mai? hehe), I had to search for possible new recipes. And here are some I found that look promising:

Chicken Rice Casserole

Ingredients:

6 Tablespoons butter
8 ounces mushrooms, sliced (3 cups)
1/4 teaspoon dried rosemary
1/2 cup all purpose flour
2 cups chicken broth
1 1/2 cups half and half or whole milk
4 cups chopped cooked chicken
3 cups cooked rice
1/2 cup dry bread crumbs
2 Tablespoons grated Parmesan cheese
1 Tablespoon melted butter

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Grease a 9x13 baking pan.

2. Melt butter in a large saucepan over medium heat.

3. Stir in the mushrooms and rosemary, cook until softened (about 5 min.). Stir in the flour until well blended.

4. Slowly whisk in the chicken broth and the half and half or milk.

5. Bring to a boil, reduce heat and cook until sauce is thickened and smooth (about 5 min.).

6. Mix in the chicken and the cooked rice, combine well.

7. Pour into prepared pan.

8. Mix together the bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese and 1 Tbsp. melted butter, stir well. Sprinkle on top of the chicken and rice mixture.

9. Bake for 25-35 minutes, until the sauce is bubbling and the topping is golden brown.

Chicken Kiev

Ingredients:

4 boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
½ tsp. black pepper
1 tsp. salt
8 Tbsp. butter, softened
1 Tbsp. lemon juice
2 Tbsp. minced fresh parsley
1 Tbsp. minced fresh chives
½ tsp. minced garlic
1/4 cup flour
1 large egg
1 ½ cups dry bread crumbs
½ cup oil

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 F.

2. Pound chicken between wax paper until it is the same thickness through out the breast, about 1/4 inch. Season with salt and pepper.

3. In a small bowl, combine butter, lemon juice, 1 tablespoon of the parsley, chives, garlic, and a pinch each of salt and pepper. Cream together until well mixed.

4. Divide the mixture evenly between the four chicken breasts, spread in center of each one. Roll the chicken up tightly and secure with a toothpick.

5. Place the flour in a shallow bowl. In a second shallow bowl, beat the egg with a fork.

6. In a third bowl, mix the bread crumbs with the other tablespoon of parsley, 1 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper.

7. Dredge each chicken breast in the flour, then dip into the egg, and roll in the bread crumbs.

8. Heat the oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Use tongs to place the chicken in the hot oil and fry until the bottom sides are brown (about 3-4 minutes). Turn and brown the other side of each chicken breast for 2-3 minutes.

9. Transfer chicken to a baking sheet and bake for 15 minutes.

Chicken Alfredo

Ingredients:

2 pounds boneless chicken breasts
4 Tablespoons oil
1/4 cup butter
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
3/4 cup heavy cream
salt and pepper, to taste
1 pound fettuccine

Directions:

1. Heat oil in a 10 inch skillet.

2. Cut chicken breast into small strips, add salt and pepper. Cook on medium heat until cooked through.

3. In a saucepan, melt the butter, then add the cream and Parmesan cheese.

4. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly. Do not boil.

5. Mix chicken and Alfredo sauce together.

6. Cook fettuccine in 3 quarts boiling water. Drain, pour sauce and chicken over noodles.



OK, you all must have noticed a trend. Yes, I love creamy stuff. I am not a big fan of very tomato-ey dishes. I do like herbs, spices, butter, and olive oil though so I am not stuck on just cream. Now if only someone would tell me how to cut the proportions of these recipes in half.

Recipes courtesy of momswhothink.com.

Failure

I haven't explicitly stated this before (I think) but my biggest fear is the fear of failure. Everything else stems from there. I don't know where this came from or how this began, but it is definitely there. And it is, now more than ever, standing in the way of things I KNOW are better for me. I need to get over this somehow because the effect of this fear is paralysis and I can't not move. I have to act. I have to be strong. I have to be brave. I think I'm gonna be sick.

Cupcake Test

What Your Cupcake Says About You

At parties, you tend to be a social butterfly. You enjoy making conversation and making sure everyone is having fun. You hardly have any restraint. You only hold yourself back when absolutely necessary. The most important thing in your life is you, obviously. You are laid back, flexible, and easy to get along with. To know you is to care for you.

The Cupcake Test

This is wrong. But the cupcake is cute.

10 Random Facts Tag

I was tagged by Ceemee. I love tags! Here we go:

Here are the rules:
1. Each blogger must post these rules.
2. Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves.
3. Bloggers that are tagged need to write ten facts about themselves. You need to choose ten people to tag and list their names.
4. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they've been tagged and also to read your blog.

10 Random Facts/Habits about ME:
1. I am not too fond of desserts but I love to bake- and I think I bake pretty well.
2. I cannot stand ugly hands and feet on men and women.
3. I need my coffee every weekday. For some reason, I don't feel the urge for it too much on the weekends.
4. Saturday morning to late afternoon are 100% mommy and kids time.
5. If I didn't need to work, the other activity that would occupy a lot of my time would be going to the gym (and since I don't have time, I do not do this).
6. I love movies- except silly comedies and too artsy art films.
7. I have kept some form of a diary every year since the 6th grade.
8. I have not given up on having that church wedding.
9. I need nights out once a week to stay sane.
10. Even when I thought I could do without this, my 'ME' time is still sacred.

This was easy: I am tagging Ree, Affie, Livi, Numi, Yanka. Ack! I only have 5 people. Oh well, have fun ladies!

Courage Again

Paolo Coelho in his Plurk said, "Courage is Fear that Prays". Wow. I mean WOW. That is impressive in the massive sense of the word. I like to think I am brave. But I don't KNOW that I am. There are actually a handful of things that really scare me. And when I am faced with those fears I... freeze. I don't think that's very brave. I also don't pray a lot. I am not religious, this I know. But I believe in God. I like to think I have my own spirituality, but again I don't KNOW that. What Paolo Coelho said is making me seriously think (yeah, as if I've ever stopped doing this, huh?). Maybe I'm really just chickenshit.

The Beginning of the Affair

Many of my friends have had ping pong arguments about who to side with in the Brad-Jen-Angie old, old, old love triangle. A few days ago, Jennifer Aniston made some comments about the whole affair in a Vogue article and this caused talks about the three involved to resume. Now, I've been thinking deeply about why I have the opinions that I have, why they are similar to others, but more importantly whey they are different from others. Here's what I've come up with:

Yes, Brad Pitt definitely had a big role in the whole mess. He is definitely not blameless. My admiration of Mr. Pitt went from 100% to roughly 50% after the whole affair. But seeing as I am not directly involved in the situation (gee, duh), I tend to gravitate more towards the roles of the women in this situation. And this, I found, is the root of my animosity towards Angelina Jolie and what she now stands for, for me. A friend of mine said, it wasn't her fault, the guy strayed, and the wife should be angrier at him for straying. But Angelina is a woman and so I expected her to have a certain amount of sensitivity and respect for her fellow woman. I am not saying that all women act, think, feel, or are the same. Not at all, but coming from the same gender should at least assure the person of some kind of affinity and fraternity. I am reluctant to say sisterhood but that is the best word I can think of at the moment. Regardless of whether or not they knew each other, the fact that they were both women should have been a consideration in the affair. It's like being betrayed by a sister- someone who shares the same gender history, stereotypes, hormones, etc. And because loyalty is so important to me, this kind of betrayal is unforgivable. So, as an outsider on the situation, Angelina Jolie does not stand for humanitarianism for me, she is not primarily an advocate for children (although her work is admirable). She is a poacher for me first and foremost, without respect or consideration for other women in committed relationships.

I don't think I explained this as clearly as I wanted to. Anyway, in the end, who cares about what I think about this matter, right? I just had to get it off my chest, finally. Just my two cents.

Looks Boring...

...but read the text!

You Are Chess

You are brilliant and shrewd. You can often predict what people will do in the future. You thrive in complex situations. You deal with contradictions well. You can have many streams of though going on at your mind at once. You keep track of things well. You are very patient. You have lots of endurance, even when your energy dwindles

What Board Game Are You?

Now this is more like it! I ROCK!

For Affie Also...

You Are the Bow Pose

You are an open hearted person. You seek connections and make them easily. You are naturally generous - especially with your love and your time. You have a knack for thinking up interesting ideas. You are an inventor and a creator. You approach everything in life with a relaxed attitude. You accept what you can't change.

What Yoga Pose Are You?

I have one thing to say....WTF?

Baby Food Update # 4

OK, my daughter is now a 1 year old and so I can now introduce more complex dishes. To be honest, I did this before my son turned one partly because his teeth came out early and so I felt more confident about his chewing powers (although baby's gums are really hardy apparently so I shouldn't have worried) and partly because I didn't know any better. With my daughter I was extra careful with textures and ingredients also because she is a lot more sensitive than my son, and thus more prone to allergic reactions. But, I feel confident now that she can handle more and different types of food. In fact she had a small portion of fettuccine carbonara over the weekend and it didn't seem to harm her. Plus, she loved it. So here are some dishes I am planning to introduce asap:

MEALS:

Fish and Veggie Parcel

12oz cod or other white fish
4oz mozzarella, grated
4tsp milk
2 carrots, peeled and grated
2 courgettes, grated
pinch freshly ground black pepper (optional)
few sprigs of dill

Pre-heat the oven to 350 deg F, 180 deg C.
Divide the fish into 4 equal pieces.
Cut 4 pieces of tin foil and place one piece of fish on each.
Add a little black pepper to each piece of fish.
Divide the carrots and courgettes equally between each parcel.
Do the same with the cheese.
Add 1tsp of milk to each parcel, plus a sprig of dill.
Wrap and seal the parcels and place on a baking tray.
Cook for 15 mins, then serve with mashed potatoes or brown rice.

Healthy Yogurt and Cottage Cheese Pasta

4oz green noodles
8oz plain yogurt
4oz cottage cheese
2oz scallions, chopped
1/2 garlic clove, crushed
1tbsp dill weed
2tsp fresh oregano, chopped
1tbsp butter

Cook the noodles according to the directions on the pack. Drain and set aside.
Combine the remaining ingredients (except for the butter) and puree in a food processor.
Warm through.
Stir the butter into the noodles, then toss the noodles with the yogurt sauce.


For finger food, I am thinking cheese sticks, peaches, and graham crackers. Oooh! I am excited!

(Baby food recipes courtesy of Homemade Baby Food Recipes)

That Thing Called Debt

About a year and a half ago, I took out a pretty substantial salary loan. My reasons back then were that I needed this amount to tide me over the 78 full days I was taking off for maternity leave. I didn't take all 78 days with my first born. I just took 30 days in fact and I've always regretted it. So I was preparing myself to do the opposite this time around. And that loan did serve it's purpose somewhat. It covered me the half month before I went on leave that I had to go part time and the other half month after the 78 days that I requested as an extension. Yes, it served me well then.
But today I live credit card free. This means all my transactions are strictly cash or debit card basis. And I find that I am surviving well enough. Ok, not better than before, but not worse either. The thing is, it's interest free and there is no accumulated debt. The times when I have no more cash and I have a need, my hubby somehow finds a way. And, while this makes me feel guilty, it doensn't increase this guilt or decrease it. This guilt is already there and I think it would take an entirely different thing to ease or erase that. Anyway, I digress. My point is, now that I see that it is entirely possible to survive (and I am referring to my situation only) with the cash I have, I regret getting that loan. The amount I pay every month could go to savings. I also know now that I can set aside that amount without too much pain. Ah, hindsight really is 20/20. I now have to find comfort in the fact that at least I am half way done paying off that loan. Perhaps a miracle will happen that will enable me to pay off the balance sooner. Divine intervention please!

Health Scare

I went through a gamut of emotions early this week when both my kids came down with illnesses. The paranoid momma that I am went into full panic mode the afternoon of Monday, when my daughter broke out in a nondescript rash. This, combined with a weekend full of worry over her then-over spiking fever, still blooming cough and cold, and the cough that just wouldn't let my son go, was enough to send me running while screaming to the nearest hospital. So, doctor's office I went on Tuesday to be told that...

...my daughter had Roseola Infantum (infant measles) and my son had mild Bronchitis.

GREAT.

The good news was that my daughter's case was mild compared to most. In fact, she didn't develop rashes on her arms, legs, or face. Thank goodness. The good news for my son, too, was that his Bronchitis was mild and that there was only slight wheezing detected and only when there was exertion involved. I was relieved to finally understand why he couldn't seem to shake the cough but I felt really bad when I saw the meds he would have to take. Since he had had an attacke before, I was familiar with one medicine and I knew that he didn't like this medicine at all. The one fear that lingers in my mind though is that this may be the start of a history of asthma. Asthma is very strong in both mine and my hubby's family history so I am now creating a mental list of things to do to avoid this happening.

Panic and then some relief. The change is drastic. Now I feel a headache coming on. Aaahhh!

The Ultimate List

I got this from Meg's blog. It's a list of things you can't live without. It looked like an activity worth spending some time and brain cells thinking over so I decided to try to make my own. Here's my list.

1. Loyalty

“Lack of loyalty is one of the major causes of failure in every walk of life”
Napoleon Hill

I've realized over the years that this is a really important thing for me. I think that a lot of mistakes in friendships, relationships, what have you spring from a certain lack of loyalty. I truly think that if you are loyal and steadfast in that loyalty, then a lot of difficult situations and questions can be overcome and answered.

2. Love and Affection

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."
Lao Tzu

I don't believe that if you have love, just love, than everything will work out and you can survive. I think it is important, essential, to have love. But I believe this has to be expressed. Unexpressed love becomes just an idea in someone's head.

3. Respect

"Be beautiful if you can, Wise if you want to... But be respected-that is essential."
Anna Gould

It's so easy to hurt someone. A single word or phrase can break a heart. And so much can be said especially in times of discord. Life will always throw storms at you. It doesn't seem to care if you think you can survive through these storms or not. Respect is the single thing that keeps you civil when you are in the middle of a storm.

4. Kindness

"Don't be yourself - be someone a little nicer."
Mignon McLaughlin

Ok, I need to practice what I preach. Enough said.

5. Ambition

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
Theodore Roosevelt

I would not even dare to try to say that any better than Teddy.

So, this was my attempt to make an Ultimate List. Food for thought, really.

I'm tagging Livi, Numi, Affie, Mai.
(Clarification:You don't have to do the OC quotes format. You can just enumerate and elucidate using your own words.)

Have fun!!

Isn't it obvious?

It's funny how some things that are so easy, so simple, so LOGICAL to us are so hard to comprehend by others. This doesn't mean that I think I am the clearest person in the world or that I don't have my moments of ambiguity. It's just hard. I am whining again, I know.
Why, oh why, don' t they teach these subjects in school? Life lessons 101. These would have been soooo helpful. And, looking at the world today, I think a lot of people need some...help. Shrinks?

Fantastic Four?

I think I know what it is! I feel...INVISIBLE. And not in the superpower way that we often wish for. In the annoying, beyond your control, not really explainable way. And I feel a little sheepish as I write this. I don't want to sound like I'm looking for attention. It really isn't about that. It's more trying to explain what I've been feeling this week. I don't like it. At all.

Off

I've been feeling kinda off lately. Not angry, not depressed, just...off. I know I am usually better at articulating things but I can't seem to put my finger on this. I don't know if it's a cyclical thing, since I seem to feel odd at certain times of the year (I haven't pinpointed if it's every month). It's annoying.

I feel like nothing really is fitting the way it should. Not at work, not at home, not alone even. I feel overworked when talking about what I am doing now, except what I am doing now is only a little more than half of what I used to do. I feel out of sync when I get home, like I am not doing everything I should be doing, like the house is disorganized and I don't see my kids or hubby, and the rest of the time I feel like I'm invisible because I spend so many hours away from home. When I'm alone, my mind wanders to places known and unknown but not very useful. It's indescribable at the moment.
Is it restlessness? it is dissatisfaction? Is it psychosis?

Early Christmas Tag

Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love the lights, the smells, the music, the lights, the cheer, everything. When the season hits (and it's pretty early in my country) I start to see things as if through misty glass window panes. I just love Christmas. Well, I was tagged by Livi so, even though I haven't really thought about this yet which is unusual for me, here goes:

Christmas Wish List:

material stuff:
1. new pants (maybe 2-3 pairs)
2. new shoes (same amount)
3. a trip to the salon to do everything I haven't been able to do this year.

"big" stuff:
1. desk for my little boy and our room
2. an ac for the little girl (unless someone gives this before then)
3. a chest of drawers for the living room so that I can get rid of 3 plastic items in one go.

others:
1. cute, educational, and useful gifts for the 2 kids
2. something unique for the hubby
3. to be able to give gifts to all relatives and friends this year

super wishes:
1. some money for savings (any amount in the 5 digit range would be great)
2. a great next year
3. peace, support, clarity

Pretty long for a spur of the moment list huh? I'm tagging Meg, Yanka, and Ree.

Have fun!

Change is in the Air

I have never had the urge to become American. To be honest, I've also only had fleeting moments of desire to visit the country. I don't really know why. Maybe it's the fact that the country is huge and always seemed crowded to me, or that I didn't like the idea of so easily disappearing in the crowd. I can't pinpoint why exactly, I just know that this is how I've felt for the longest time. But today, for more than a moment, I wanted to be American. If only to be able to participate in that historic election.
I am a lover of history. I have always loooooved stories of old. My friends have often called me a bore because of this. Today was a classic and rare example of history in the making. And what I would have given to be there in the flesh. But as I am not, I have to relish it continents away.Writing about how both end-of-the-election speeches moved me would do neither justice. So I am just going to say that it was a great battle, fought by two worthy, passionate men. Oh, to be alive and see these events is invigorating. And I'm not even American.
Now how do I make this feeling last?

Irritation Again

I was just commenting to some of my friends in the office that this week has been soooooo long. I've been feeling really exhausted lately, over the past few days to be exact. But the exhaustion isn't a physical one in the sense that I don't feel like I'm ready to collapse. It's more a fatigue like I am floating through the day, hanging on to a vine here and there, just to get to the end of the day. What does that mean?
It's no secret that I haven't been too happy work-wise for the past couple of months. But, as the saying goes, you can't have it all. And there are just some things you have to suck your gut over and do because, well, that's life. No matter how much it grates and no matter how many chalkboards with nails running over you try to avoid, you will encounter things and situations you don't like. So I've been trying to make the most out of the situation by focusing on the things I find are positive. Admittedly, I am not very successful with this at times. But I do think I am getting better. For someone who has every single emotion plastered on her face the moment it's processed by the brain, I think I've been relatively calm lately. Until today.
I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist necessarily but I don't like to do things half-baked, regardless of whether I like or dislike the project. So it goes totally against the grain when there is even a whiff of dissatisfaction over my performance. And it makes it 100% (multiplied to the nth degree) more difficult to do something you don't really like doing and to do it well. I've been fighting off the feeling of being unappreciated because, let's face it, you can't expect a pat on the back all the time. You can't even expect it a lot. Plus, my brain knows more and knows that it isn't about not being appreciated. But my emotions are stubbornly unwilling to follow my brain lately and it's frankly wearing me out. It leaves me with dangerously low reserves to do what I have to do everyday. AAAAHHH! I am whining again. And I don't even know if this post makes sense. I am sure it's going to read like a sensesless ramble. Maybe I'm the drama queen Am loves to roll her eyes over and avoid. AAAAHHH!!!

If I say it over and over again...

...then maybe I will start to believe it?

I've been repeating this to myself for the past few days: "It's ok. It will be ok. We won't lose touch." Actually, I'm beginning to think I am a retard (like Dorothy would often say) still being affected by all this. The individuals involved are not too affected. So why should I be? Misplaced emotions? Aarrgghh.

Sadness and Goodbyes

It's funny how goodbyes are. I've never really liked them. Some people deal with them really well. They look at them as the natural evolution of things in life. I just see them as separation from something that is or has become dear to you in some way. I don't want to appear mushy but I am awfully affected by friends who say goodbye. In my office, I work with a lot of fantastic people. Non-conformist, brilliant, funny, disturbed all rolled into one. But I really only socialize with a handful of them- by socializing I mean exchanging more than the usual chit chat and pleasantries. Perhaps it has something to do with my introverted personality but over the almost 4 years I have been working at my office, I can say that I have developed some good friendships, with people I really admire. Because of this, I am greatly affected when anyone from that handful decides that it's time to leave. One already did so early this year (that was hard) and now three of my friends are deciding to do the same (for their own important, individual reasons) in the last quarter of this year and the first quarter of next year. I think it's more than I can take. I've prided myself over being tough, and strong, and hardy in times of adversity. But these imminent goodbyes make me just want to cry. Literally. The song 'Closing Time' has a clincher line that goes "every new beginning comes from some other beginnings end." This is really good for them. New beginnings for bigger and better things are always things to look forward to and be happy about. But I'm just sad. Sad, sad, sad. Sigh.

Music Heals

Something Mai said in her comment to one of my posts made me think about John Mayer. For those of you who do not know, and for those of you who are not yet sick of my constant jabbering about songs and lyrics, here are 2 songs whose lyrics, yet again, strike a chord.

First off is "Waiting for the World to Change"

Me and all my friends
We're all misunderstood
They say we stand for nothing and
There's no way we ever could
Now we see everything is going wrong
With the world and those who lead it
We just feel like we don't have the means
To rise above and beat it

So we keep waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
Its hard to beat the system
When we're standing at a distance
So we keep waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change

Now if we had the power
To bring our neighbors home from war
They would've never missed a Christmas
No more ribbons on their door
When you trust your television
What you get is what you got
Cuz when they own the information ooohhh,
They can bend it all they want

So while we're waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
It's not that we don't care
We just know that the fight ain't fair
So we keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change

We're still waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
One day our generation
Is gonna rule the population

So we keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
No, we keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
We keep on waiting (waiting)
Waiting on the world to change
Waiting on the world to change
Waiting on the world to change
Waiting on the world to change.

You can really see the connection between these lyrics and my last post. Well, at least this would be the next chapter.

And to sum up the section of the book that is my jumbled brain, "The Heart of Life"

I hate to see you cry
Lying there in that position
There's things you need to hear
So turn off your tears and listen

Pain throws you heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

You know it's nothing new
Bad news never had good timing
Then the circle of your friends
Will defend the silver lining

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
No, it won't all go the way, it should
But I know the heart of life is good

Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around
Fear is a friend who's misunderstood
But I know the heart of life is good

I know it's good

Yes, I will believe it's good.

Faith and Justice

A convicted murder had just received executive clemency over the week. What does this mean? Well, our president deemed it acceptable to let a criminal go, and if that isn't bad enough, let him go early. Ok, I am not going to pretend like I know the details of the law with respect to this particular right of the President. Because I don't. I am just going to talk about my opinion concerning the matter in general.

So, what do I think?

I think it is one thing to give clemency to Estrada, because he was a legitimately elected President, and because his crime was (in the most basic generalization) stealing. But to give it to someone who was convicted of KILLING IN COLD BLOOD, 2 people, and this would have been 3 had the other victim been less lucky, is another thing. Sec. Gonzalez said that a convicted criminal is eligible for parole when he/she has served half his sentence and provided there were no escape attempts while serving time. Uhm, Teehankee got life for 2 murders and 1 frustrated murder. Can someone tell me how you calculate half of a life sentence? And say that number is made available, I am 1,000,000% sure it isn't 12 years. Not unless a person is only expected to live until they are 24. And since his sentence was for 2 murders and 1 frustrated murder, 12 years is not anywhere near enough.

As I was writing, I came across information from Wikipedia:

The Supreme Court of the Philippines on October 6, 1995, modified the trial court's decision and found Teehankee, Jr. guilty of the crimes of murder, homicide and attempted murder, for which, he was meted out 3 sentences, respectively, reclusión perpetua (defined effectively as 30 years by the Revised Penal Code) and 2 indeterminate sentences of reclusion temporal, each for 8 years and 1 day to 14 years (now, as finally amended by the Supreme Court in 1995). Under Article 70 of the Revised Penal Code, the maximum combined sentences cannot exceed 40 years

Don't get me wrong. I believe people can change. But is it just to say that just because there is this belief, they should not be made accountable for their actions. Teehankee didn't kill a plant, after all.

It made me think about Faith and Justice. I would always hold on to the idea that, in the end, justice would prevail. I believe(d?) that one should always fight for what was just and that this was the best way to peacefully live in a society. You work hard, you get rewarded. That is just. You do something wrong, you get punished. That is just. And, while my faith in the religious aspect of life is murky, my faith in the letter of the law has always been sound. I come from a family of lawyers and judges, pretty good and respected ones at that, so really this has been a basic truth in my life. But now I am beginning to question it. When it seems like it is so easy to get away with murder, literally, what is there left to hold on to? Is it really about connections, and money, and timing? So, is that thin book with many words that is supposed to set limits and order in our society a sham? Are the lives lost in order to exercise our rights as were notarized by our fighting forefathers in that little book for naught? Again I don't know. But I do know I am afraid of a society and a President that seem to value money and connections above all. How do I protect my loved ones if I don't have those two things? Earl described Faith as a "world religion of non-thinking". I thought about this a lot and was ready to disagree. Now I am thinking, is he right?

"Lovers"

I got this from Affie's blog. This is my card. I kinda like it.

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Food for thought? Hehehe.

Baby Food Update #3

Ok, I've been remiss on the updating, but not the food giving.

So, updates:
-my daughter has now eaten chicken, fish, pork, and beef, successfully. She liked the fish the least though but I think it might have been how I cooked it. I used Dory and steamed it with lemon,a bit of salt, and olive oil. I'll try another way for her next fish dish.
-she has also eaten a lot of fruit and veggies. Carrots, sweet potato, potato, squash, apples, banana, papaya, pineapple, green peas. She likes sweet potato and squash a lot. Next thing I'm going to add is broccoli for the veggies and pears for fruit.
-I am not pureeing anymore (thank goodness!). She needs to have clumps now so she can learn to chew well. Besides, she already has 6 teeth, plus she's turning 1 in a month. So it's time. She has also eaten some pita break and crackers. Oh, and yogurt. Which she loves. (She does not get that from me, for sure!)
-my 3 year old son broke out into a nasty rash a week ago and we figured it was food-related. How? Well, he had been suffering from a bad cough and according to hi doctor, this is a good time for allergies to highly allergenic food to surface, even if he had been eating the food without a problem in the past. Poor boy, I had to put him on a "bland" diet for a week. He was on fish and Nilaga. Funnily enough, he loved both, and ate a whole lot that entire week. (Now that is definitely from me!).
-I know the list of highly allergenic food items is long but here's a short list:

• chicken
  
• egg
• salted food
• chocolate
• food with preservatives (this was tough since everything is processed now)
• tomatoes
• dairy
• peanuts
  

You can find a more detailed list here.
-He's well now, and eating some of these foods again without a reaction. So, whew!

That's it for now. I am excited about some Halloween and Christmas baby/toddler food posts.

Remembering Mattie...

I was watching Good Morning America last night (it comes on at night on 53. I'm not sure if it's for the current or previous day though) and I caught the report on Mattie Stepanek. It was a short clip telling people interested to know how a new park for kids and adults has just been opened in his name. I forget which state though. Anyway, what struck me was the intelligence, sensitivity, and humanity of this young boy. I admit I never caught news items of him while he was alive but I know about him now. And I guess he touched me the way he seems to be still touching other people, young and old, today.

Here's on of his poems:

FOR OUR WORLD
We need to stop.
Just stop.
Stop for a moment.
Before anybody
Says or does anything
That may hurt anyone else.
We need to be silent.
Just silent.
Heart Silent for a moment.
Before we forever lose
The blessing of songs
That grow in our hearts.
We need to notice.
Just notice.
Notice for a moment.
Before the future slips away
Into ashes and dust of humility.
Stop, be silent, and notice.
In so many ways, we are the same.
Our differences are unique treasures.
We have, we are, a mosaic of gifts
To nurture, to offer, to accept.
We need to be.
Just be.
Be for a moment.
Kind and gentle, innocent and trusting,
Like children and lambs,
Never judging or vengeful
Like the judging and vengeful.
And now, let us pray,
Differently, yet together,
Before there is no earth, no life,
No chance for peace.

September 11, 2001
© Matthew Joseph Thaddeus Stepanek

What an amazing boy. Truly. Gives us hope, huh?

Tired

I'm sitting at my desk, at the end of my day, with only 4 hours of sleep, and after a lot of exertion over the day- tired and wondering when I will ever not feel tired.
Don't get me wrong, I love the hustle and bustle of my kids. I love baking. I like going to work, whining and exchanging stories and gossip with the members of my team. But sometimes it is all so overwhelming and I just want a day to rest and not move. A day when I don't have to worry about money or food or health. Just like a pause, not a stop. Just one day every now and then. To recharge. To relax. To remember who I am, what I work for, what I love.
But I think this is, yet again, another desire in a long list of desires that are currently out of reach.
Depressing.

"Think Different"

I got this from Meg. I loved it and I couldn't help but post it here.

"Think Different" from Apple

Here’s to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They’re not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,
disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They invent. They imagine. They heal.
They explore. They create. They inspire.
They push the human race forward.
Maybe they have to be crazy.
How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that’s never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?
We make tools for these kinds of people.
While some see them as the crazy ones, we see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.

This is so inspirational. Let's get crazy, people!

Sa Sugarfree n'APO tayo mag-BURN OUT...

...OPM #2

I'm in Tiendesitas again with my hubby and friends. Yes, this seems to be the place to goto after work, on the weekend, when you have a small budget and a thirst for good food, drink, and now music. Great local bands play here and you can enjoy a mini-concert for a very small fee.

Again, a new (for me), late (in reality), discovery. Songs of old, that I love, remade. And new songs that ring true and strike a chord inside. Take note of the lyrics below.

BURN OUT

O, wag kang tumingin ng ganyan sa akin
'Wag mo akong kulitin, 'wag mo akong tanungin
Dahil katulad mo, ako rin ay nagbago
'Di na tayo tulad ng dati, kay bilis ng sandali

CHORUS
O, kay tagal din kitang minahal

Kung iisipin mo, 'di naman dati ganito
Teka muna, teka lang, kelan tayo nailang?
Kung iisipin mo, 'di naman dati ganito
Kay bilis kasi ng buhay, pati tayo natangay

[Repeat CHORUS]

Tinatawag kita, sinusuyo kita
'Di mo man marinig, 'di mo man madama

O, kay tagal din kitang mamahalin


BATANG-BATA
By: Apo Hiking Society
(remade by Sugarfree)

Batang-bata ka pa at marami ka pang
kailangang malaman at intindihin sa mundo
Yan ang totoo
Nagkakamali ka kung akala mo na ang buhay
ay isang mumunting paraiso lamang

Batang-bata ka lang at akala mo na na alam
mo na ang lahat na kailangan mong malaman
Buhay ay di ganyan
Tanggapin mo na lang ang katotohanan na ikaw
ay isang musmos lang na wala pang alam
Makinig ka na lang makinig ka na lang

Chorus
Ganyan talaga ang buhay lagi kang nasasabihan
Pagkat ikaw ay bata at wala pang nalalaman
Makinig ka sa 'king payo pagkat musmos ka lamang
At malaman ng maaga ang wasto sa kamalian

Batang-bata ako nalalaman ko 'to
Inamin ko rin na kulang ang aking nalalaman at nauunawaan
Ngunit kahit ganyan ang kinalalagyan alam
ko na may karapatan ang bawat nilalang
Kahit bata pa man kahit bata pa man

Nais ko sanang malaman ang mali sa katotohanan
Sariling pagraranas ang aking pamamagitan
Imulat ang isipan sa mga kulay ng buhay
Maging tunay na malaya sa katangi-tanging bata

Batang-bata ka pa at marami ka pang
kailangang malaman at intindihin sa mundo
Nais ko sanang malaman ang mali sa katotohanan
Batang-bata ka lang at akala mo na na alam mo
na ang lahat na kailangan mong malaman
Sariling pagraranas ang aking pamamagitan
Nagkakamali ka kung akala mo na ang buhay
ay isang mumunting paraiso lamang
la la la ý
la la la ý (fade)

It seems music (and food) really play a huge part in my life.