For My Kids

I was watching "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" and I line struck me (as I am sure it struck all parents out there).

"For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.”

For you my big boy and pretty girl. I love you.

Surprises

It's amazing how fast kids grow, how they can share so many common traits, how they can look so much alike and also be so different, how they acquire their tastes, likes and dislikes, their personality.

I've had 5 years of motherhood so far and I have to say that I am surprised by something new every week. My son loves anything sweet. He adores it. But my daughter goes for a more mature taste, like vanilla ice cream over very, very chocolate. Now how did that happen? They both eat the same food, live in the same house, have the same mommy. And this mommy doesn't even like ice cream! My son is a super extrovert and my daughter is more of the shy type. But my goodness! You wouldn't know this when they argue. I can list all the surprising little tidbits here but I don't think there is enough space or time in a day.

Suffice it to say, I am loving surprises and eagerly awaiting the millions I know are still coming my way.

Belated Greetings to all Moms!

Because I haven't had steady Internet access this month, this greeting is coming quite late. Nevertheless, it comes from the heart.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MOMS!

Stick Family

Make your Stick Figure Family at FreeFlashToys.com

I got this from Livi's blog and thought it was cute.

A Little Bubble

Mommy guilt has plagued me since the birth of my first child. Anyone who's ever had more than a 5-minute chat with me about work and my kids knows this. But I have managed to get it under control quite a bit, especially since leaving my last job. I think it was the month off that I got to spend with my kids that left me feeling less guilty about the time I had taken away from them for work. Lately though, I've been feeling the guilt start to heat up again, creating little bubbles as if soup coming to a boil. I am trying to place where the source of the heat is coming from. I haven't found it. I am not dissatisfied with my job, not unhappy, and stress-wise, not as stressed as I had been in my previous job. So this recurring feeling really puzzles me. I know though, no matter what the situation, I will always have that niggling feeling in the pit of my stomach that ends with a whispered prayer of hope that my kids will, someday, understand the hours away and the work.

Anyway, whether or not I find the source of these bubbles remains to be seen. I am hoping it is not yet another hidden lesson I am supposed to learn. Sending out positive vibes to the Universe here.

New Recipes

It's been ages since I posted about recipes although I haven't stopped in my quest to collect a cookbook full of easy, yummy, kid-friendly recipes. I decided to do a little research at the end of my working day and I came upon two promising dishes. Here they are.

FABULOUS FRIED RICE

Ingredients

* 2 tbsp. (30 mL) vegetable oil
* 1 egg, beaten
* 1 onion, chopped
* 2 cloves garlic, crushed
* 2 cups (500 mL) diced raw or cooked vegetables (see suggestions, below)
* 2 cups (500 mL) diced cooked meat or fish (or vegetarian meat substitute)
* 3 cups (750 mL) cold leftover cooked rice
* 2 tbsp. (30 mL) soy sauce
* 1 tsp. (5 mL) sesame oil
* 4 green onions, sliced
* Fried rice veggie ideas:
* Sliced, diced or shredded, raw or cooked celery, green or red pepper, mushrooms, carrots, bean sprouts, broccoli, zucchini, green beans, peas or snow peas, cabbage (regular or Chinese)

Cooking Instructions

1. In a wok or a large skillet, heat 1 tbsp. (15 mL) of the oil over high heat. Add egg and cook, stirring, until egg is scrambled. Remove scrambled egg to a plate.
2. Pour the remaining oil into the wok. When it is very hot, add chopped onion and garlic and cook, stirring, for 2 or 3 minutes or just until onion is softened. Add raw vegetables first, followed by cooked vegetables (the first ones into the pan should be the veggies that take longest to cook, like raw carrots). Already-cooked veggies should be added last. Now add cooked meat, stirring to mix well and heat through.
3. Finally, add rice, stirring constantly to break up the lumps of rice, mix it with the other ingredients and heat thoroughly. Add soy sauce and sesame oil and cook, stirring and tossing, for 2 or 3 minutes. Stir in scrambled eggs and green onions and stir-fry for one more minute. Remove from heat and serve immediately.

BAKED BREADED TILAPIA FILLETS

Ingredients

* 1 cup (250 mL) bread crumbs
* 1 tbsp. (15 mL) grated Parmesan cheese
* 1 tsp. (5 mL) oregano or Italian seasoning
* 1/2 tsp. (2 mL) salt
* 1/4 tsp. (1 mL) black pepper
* 2-3 tbsp. (30-45 mL) vegetable oil
* 1-1/2 lbs. (750 g) tilapia fillets (or other white fish fillets, such as sole, cod or haddock)

Cooking Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 375° F (190° C). Lightly oil a baking sheet.
2. In a plastic or paper bag combine bread crumbs, Parmesan cheese, oregano (or Italian seasoning), salt and pepper. Hold the top of the bag shut and shake to mix everything together.
3. Pour vegetable oil into a small bowl. Working with one fillet at a time, brush both sides with a little of the oil, then drop into the bag with the bread crumb mixture and shake to coat well. Remove from bag and place on the prepared baking sheet. Repeat with the remaining fillets.
4. Bake for 10 minutes, turn fillets over and continue to bake for another 5 to 10 minutes, or until the fish flakes when you poke into it with a fork.

The reasons I picked these two dishes is because they require the least amount of canned ingredients but are still easy to prepare, they are filling, and my hubby and kids love both rice and tilapia. It was really easy to decide to try these out. I am looking forward to making them over the weekend. I hope the family likes them!

Are Kids Ever Safe Enough?

Child safety has been on my mind a lot these days. Ok, it's always on my mind but more so lately. Maybe it's all the movies with children getting kidnapped or hurt, or the blogs of tragedies, or just the reality that I am a mom now and so I just think about everything and anything that might cause them harm.
Anyway, I've always considered myself to be a careful mom but I found this list of questions to know if you are protecting your child from unwanted dangers and it sent me into a mild panic.

• Is your child properly restrained when riding in your car?- yes.
  
• Do you use door knob covers and door locks so that your child can not get out of the house or into rooms that aren't childproofed?- yes, in a sense.
  
• Do you have smoke alarms on every level of your house and near bedrooms? Do you check them regularly to make sure they are still working?- no smoke alarms but I check outlets and things plugged regularly.
  
• Do you have a carbon monoxide detector in your home that has gas or oil heat or with attached garages? - no, I didn't know these existed.
  
• Does your child wear a helmet when riding his bike?- no, but he has a toddler bike still, which he can't pedal consistently, so I figured this wasn't necessary yet.
  
• If you have a pool, is it protected with a fence and a self-closing and self-latching gate?- I do, and no. Oh no!
  
• Do you have a child under 6 years in the top bunk of a bunk bed?- no bunk bed.
  
• Have you set the temperature of your hot water heater to 120 degrees Fahrenheit?- not water heater.
  
• Do you have a gun in the house that is loaded and unlocked?- no way!
  
• Do you have covers on electrical outlets?- not really. They remove them. I have yet to find a brand that stays on.
  
• Do you have a fire extinguisher?- yes.
  
• Do you keep medicines, poisons and household cleaners completely out of reach of your children?- definitely.
  
• Do you have wall anchors on your stove and large pieces of furniture that may tip over?- no, but I don't have too many large pieces of furniture.
  
• Have you checked your house for recalled toys and household products?- there aren't a whole lot of toys either.
  
• Do you keep toys with small parts out of the reach of your younger children?- yes.
  
• Do you smoke?- yes, but not in the house.
  
• Have you protected the sharp edges of furniture and fireplaces with corner and edge bumpers?- my furniture all have rounded edges.
  
• Do you put sunscreen on your child when necessary?- yes.
  
• If you live in an older house, has your child been screened for lead poisoning?- we don't live in an older house.
  
• Do you have matches or lighters easily accessible in your house?- no.
  
• Do you have window guards installed on your windows?- yes.
  
• Does your family have an escape plan in case there is a fire?- yes, but it's in my head.
  
• Do you have a list of emergency numbers by the phone?- no phone but I have a list on the fridge door.
  
• Do you let your kids play with fireworks?- no!
  
• Do you wash fruits and vegetables before letting your children eat them?- yes.
  
• Are your kids safe when they visit the homes of friends or family members? Have they childproofed their homes?- they are safe and half of the homes are childproof. We try to teach them what to touch and what not to touch, e.g. what is a toy and what is glass.
  
• Do you use the back burners when cooking and turn pot handles toward the back of the stove?- no but I don't allow my kids near the stove.
  
• Do you use an appliance latch to lock your refrigerator?- no.
  
• Do you let your younger child play outside by himself?-no.
• Do you leave buckets around the house with water in them?- no.
  
• Do you leave your younger child in the bathtub alone?-no.
• Do you let your child stand up in shopping carts?- no.
  
• Do you use a harness when your child is in his high chair?-yes.
• Have you warned your children not to play near moving water, such as a canal or creek?- no, no moving water near us and we haven't taken them to the beach. Does the pool count? If so, yes they are always warned not to play near the pool.
  
• Do you let your kids ride in the back of a pickup truck?-no!
• Do you encourage your children to wear safety equipment when playing sports?- well, floaters when swimming. What are the safety equipment for basketball and football (soccer)?
  

more info here

Judging from my answers I think I am on the right track. I think a lot of the question made me think about other things too. Like, locking doors, swimming lessons, breakables, etc. I am sure I will be able to come up with an entirely new list of dangers to avoid on my own but, for now, I am satisfied with this list. How did you guys fare?

Poetry for my Children

On Children

Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

More Parenting Tips

Most of my friends know that I am on a never-ending quest for the most applicable techniques for my growing cuties. I am certainly no expert so I utilize all the sources at my fingertips to get all the help possible. Here are some new ones that I thought were worth a try:

For disciplining: Instead of threatening (which can soo easily happen, especially after a long, hard day, and when your kids are especially active), you can:

You want your child to:	Instead of this:	Say this:	Which is better because:
Go to bed and stay there	"If you get out of bed one more time, I'll scream."	"After I put you to bed, I expect you to stay there."	The expectation for the behavior is clear and unemotional.
Eat her peas and carrots	"You're going to sit at the table until you finish your peas."	"Remember — we won't have a snack before bed."	It reminds her that the kitchen's closed, but she can still choose whether or not to eat.
Brush her teeth	"No bedtime story if you don't brush your teeth."	"It's time for bed. What do you do first to get ready?"	It lets her know it's time for her bedtime routine without being punitive.
Behave in the grocery store	"Stop running now or no TV when we get home."	"Can you help me find the cereal you like?"	It distracts from the negative behavior and offers a positive alternative.
Ask without whining	"If you whine once more, I'll take your sticker book away."	"I'd like to listen, but I can only understand your normal voice."	It lets her know you're interested in what she's saying, but won't accept the tone.
Clean up her room	"No dinner until your room is clean."	"I'd like you to pick up your toys and put them in your toy chest. Do you want to do that before or after dinner?"	It makes your expectations clear, but also gives your preschooler a choice.
Stop tattling	"I'm not taking a tattletale to the playground."	"It sounds like you're upset with your sister. You need to tell her why."	It helps your preschooler understand that kids have to work it out together.
Be quiet in the car	"If you scream one more time, we'll turn around and go home."	"I'm having a hard time driving. I need to pull over until you're settled."	It lets your child know the effect, limits, and consequences of her behavior.

I was so happy when I read this becuase I can confidently say that I have successfully done 50% in this table. Yippee! Snaps for moi everyone. Of course, these have only been tested on my son. My daughter just turned 1 so I am seeing if all my tactics with my young man will work with her.

Now, to avoid spoiling?

1. Set clear, simple limits
Think of it this way: If you leave no room for reinterpretation, you save yourself arguing later. Listen to the difference between "Oh okay, you can have a cookie..." (plenty of room for hope that a second one might be okay) and "You can have one cookie, but don't ask me for a second one. This is it."

2. Stick to those limits no matter what
One really means one. It's happened to all of us: We say no to more than one cookie, and then we start second-guessing ourselves. The trick here is to take a long-term view. Maybe a second cookie really would be okay just this once, but do you really want to be second-guessed every time you set a limit? That will happen if you change your story.

3. Never give in to begging
This one's simple — once you do, you've taught your child that begging works, right?

4. Make your child convince you
If she wants something you're not sure about, ask her to make a case for it. She wants to watch a favorite TV show? If she explains that all her homework is done and she's practiced piano, you can feel comfortable saying yes.

5. Require that chores get done before fun
You don't do your child any favors by being a softy. Studies show that being strict on chores and responsibilities helps him develop the ability to cope with frustration.

6. Don't be afraid to disappoint
We hate to see our kids sad, but the Stones said it best: You can't always get what you want. And studies show that learning to accept disappointment will give your child important coping skills to deal with emotional stress later in life.

7. Let them work for what they want
Many experts believe that kids become spoiled when things come too easily, encouraging them to take those things for granted. If your child wants a new bike, set up a reward system for good behavior and let him earn it bit by bit.


I love all the points on this list and I think they are totally do-able. The only one I see a problem with is number 3 and this is because it really is so hard to refuse when you have them looking at you with huge, pleading, puppy dog eyes accompanied by the most cajoling "please?" in the universe. Sigh. Yes, I see a problem with this point.

For those of you who have tried, or want to try these out, gimme some feedback!

(Tips courtesy of Baby Center)

Health Scare

I went through a gamut of emotions early this week when both my kids came down with illnesses. The paranoid momma that I am went into full panic mode the afternoon of Monday, when my daughter broke out in a nondescript rash. This, combined with a weekend full of worry over her then-over spiking fever, still blooming cough and cold, and the cough that just wouldn't let my son go, was enough to send me running while screaming to the nearest hospital. So, doctor's office I went on Tuesday to be told that...

...my daughter had Roseola Infantum (infant measles) and my son had mild Bronchitis.

GREAT.

The good news was that my daughter's case was mild compared to most. In fact, she didn't develop rashes on her arms, legs, or face. Thank goodness. The good news for my son, too, was that his Bronchitis was mild and that there was only slight wheezing detected and only when there was exertion involved. I was relieved to finally understand why he couldn't seem to shake the cough but I felt really bad when I saw the meds he would have to take. Since he had had an attacke before, I was familiar with one medicine and I knew that he didn't like this medicine at all. The one fear that lingers in my mind though is that this may be the start of a history of asthma. Asthma is very strong in both mine and my hubby's family history so I am now creating a mental list of things to do to avoid this happening.

Panic and then some relief. The change is drastic. Now I feel a headache coming on. Aaahhh!

Baby Food Update #3

Ok, I've been remiss on the updating, but not the food giving.

So, updates:
-my daughter has now eaten chicken, fish, pork, and beef, successfully. She liked the fish the least though but I think it might have been how I cooked it. I used Dory and steamed it with lemon,a bit of salt, and olive oil. I'll try another way for her next fish dish.
-she has also eaten a lot of fruit and veggies. Carrots, sweet potato, potato, squash, apples, banana, papaya, pineapple, green peas. She likes sweet potato and squash a lot. Next thing I'm going to add is broccoli for the veggies and pears for fruit.
-I am not pureeing anymore (thank goodness!). She needs to have clumps now so she can learn to chew well. Besides, she already has 6 teeth, plus she's turning 1 in a month. So it's time. She has also eaten some pita break and crackers. Oh, and yogurt. Which she loves. (She does not get that from me, for sure!)
-my 3 year old son broke out into a nasty rash a week ago and we figured it was food-related. How? Well, he had been suffering from a bad cough and according to hi doctor, this is a good time for allergies to highly allergenic food to surface, even if he had been eating the food without a problem in the past. Poor boy, I had to put him on a "bland" diet for a week. He was on fish and Nilaga. Funnily enough, he loved both, and ate a whole lot that entire week. (Now that is definitely from me!).
-I know the list of highly allergenic food items is long but here's a short list:

• chicken
  
• egg
• salted food
• chocolate
• food with preservatives (this was tough since everything is processed now)
• tomatoes
• dairy
• peanuts
  

You can find a more detailed list here.
-He's well now, and eating some of these foods again without a reaction. So, whew!

That's it for now. I am excited about some Halloween and Christmas baby/toddler food posts.

Things to Remember

I told myself last week that I would post create a series of posts, written at the end of the week, outlining 3-5 funny, memorable things my kids did over the weekend and week. The purpose of this was really to do two things: to give myself an extra boost at the end or the week, and to create a 'journal' of things about my kids that I can look back on.

Naturally, I was so busy last week that I had no time to blog. So I decided to write last week's post today. I will be doing this every Friday though.

Things to Remember.....

...about my son.
1. We went to Pizza Hut to look at their birthday party packages and someone was having a birthday party at the same time. When the mascot came out, my son ran to me and gripped me really tightly around the legs and waist. I know this fear isn't funny but it was what he said and how he looked that made me struggle really hard to contain my laughter. His face crumpled into an intense frown and he said, "Mommy, I'm afraid to the mascot!". Ok, it probably doesn't make much sense here but he looked so outraged that it was cute.
2. One morning, after finally arranging the last tray of freshly baked cupcakes, my son comes down, takes one look at the array on the table and says "Mommy, can I have a cupcake? I like it!" with perfect intonation for a question.
3. After coming home from a shopping trip with his dad, my son runs up to me gripping one of those clay dwarf ornaments for the garden. He is, of course, so proud about his purchase. So I ask him for the name of his garden gnome. He thinks for a while, looks at me with a smile, and then says "Edward!". My little boy is all grown-up.

...about my daughter.
1. she's been able to do this for a while but it's so cute I have to place it here. I sing her the Itsy Bitsy Spider rhyme every time she starts to cry and when she wakes up at night and I carry her to our bed to lounge for a short while. At first, she would just stare at my hand gestures and smile. Now she copies the gestures (with one hand- so cute) and finishes off with a toothy grin and hands clapping.
2. when she hears music, most kinds of music, she starts to rock back and forth. This is her dance. The funny thing is, she does this when I say "dance, dance!" even without music.
3. She is now practicing walking so it's soooo cute when she just screams at the top of her lungs, with a big grin, every time she is put down to walk.

I hope I'll be able to keep this activity up. It's therapeutic in a way. I couldn't help but smile while writing. And it made me feel closer to my kids, and took away a teensy weensy bit of that mommy guilt. I hope I'll be able to keep this up.

5 Things I Said I Would Never Say/Do

(photo courtesy of Corbis)

I saw a post on Happy Healthy Families and it inspired me to think and make a similar list.

What are some of the things I said I would never say or do to my kids? This is a tough subject for me. I never really thought much about what I would once I had kids because I planned to have kids a lot later than I actually did. Of course, my 2 adorable angels are the best gifts and surprises I've ever received. Still....thinking back...this is tough.

So, here goes:

What I told myself I would never say/do to my kids:

1. I told myself I would never raise my voice for any reason other than to be better heard and understood.--- ha! This, I really try to follow. But sometimes, when you're tired, and you still have a million things to do with so little time left in the day, and your 3-year old is running around the living room missing big, painful, breakable things by a hair, and your baby girl is crying her eyes out for you to carry her....this can be forgotten. But a millisecond after I feel so bad and I remember to just take a deep breath and calm down. Of course, the voice raising has been done...

2. I told myself I would never answer a "why" question with a "because." or a "because I said so" or "it just that way."- Sigh. My son would sometimes ask me "Mommy? What's that?", pointing at some innocuous thing. I would tell him what that this was, which would be followed by "for?" (meaning 'for what?'). Of course, I would tell him the use of the harmless object. And then he would proceed to ask me the same question, in the same tone, but referring to the object directly beside the previous object. And this would sometimes go on and on until all objects on the now-offending shelf have been named and defined. So....on the 10th item..I sometimes just say, "that's the way it is." It's cute, yes, and I love his wonderful curiosity but sometimes I give up. Just because.

3. I told myself I would not allow my kids to drink commercial juice. -This didn't stand a chance. At least I have stuck to the 'no soda' rule.

4. I told myself that I would not let the yaya handle my kids more than me. -Unfortunately, this is not a full-time working mom's reality. At least not this working mom. Ok mommy guilt, you can come out now.

5. I told myself I would never be a distant mom. -This one I have followed! I always sit down and talk to my kids, ask them about their activities, play with them, hug and kiss them as often as I can.

There may be other things but these five are the things that come to mind now. Looking at my list I can't help but think, not bad. Maybe I'm not doing so badly after all.

Baby Food Update

As planned, I have begun my homemade baby food process. I said I would do it after next payday, next payday has come and gone, and now....I am on my way.

Over the weekend I made my first batch of homemade baby food. Since my daughter has been eating chicken, mixed veggies, and mixed fruits already, I tried not to stray from the familiar for my first try. So I made her chicken with squash and apples, carrots, squash. I combined them to make chicken-squash and apple-carrot-squash batches. They were very easy to make! I just needed to boil a whole lot of things and then puree away. It was actually a lot of fun. I liked the taste of the chicken-squash mixture more than the apple-carrot-squash mix but this is probably because I don't like apples or carrots. It did have a sweetish taste though which I though was perfect to sweeten the chicken mix. I bought these rubber ice trays, 2 big ones, which I used to freeze her food. Perfect!

The best part is, she likes the food! I am so pleased. I get to feed her stuff I am sure of because, well, I make them. Plus, savings!

Next project would be beef and fish. I am thinking of incorporating yogurt and cheese but I am not sure how yet. She should be able to take them already since she's 9.5 months. Any suggestions?

I am NOT the Energizer Bunny

I spent the long weekend basically on the go, from cooking to cleaning to the kids to socializing. I know this doesn't sound out of the ordinary but, for me, it was a lot of work. I got around 4 hours of sleep for both nights. Thanks goodness last night was a longer rest period. For a better understanding of my relief over this, let me say I need at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep or else I get a migraine for the whole day. I really cannot do everything I want to do. I would have said "do it all" but for a lot of women, what I just mentioned is their everyday life. So, "everything I want to do" is more descriptive and specific.
Sadly, I had to postpone 2 projects: baby food trials and ironing out gym details. Again thank goodness my stock of Gerber is still pretty substantial. I was able to get some cute ice trays and ingredients though, so that's something. To add to the many things I am juggling, I am currently searching for a replacement yaya. For all the moms out there who appreciate the importance of a good yaya, this is a HUGE project. STRESS!!
Hopefully I can get some kind of organized schedule going starting tomorrow.

Long Weekend Coming

It's been a good past 2 days. Yesterday we celebrated my son's 3rd birthday. Imagine that. 3 already. How fast time flies! After much thought, we decided to keep the celebration simple. My husband and I brought him to the zoo for a birthday tour. Loving all things that are new and have to do with going out, my son had a lot of fun. We didn't bring our daughter as I was afraid she would catch something (being less than a year old).
Here's a photo of us feeding the rabbits. It's amazing how such a simple activity could bring so much enjoyment. It kind of makes you want to be a kid again. Ok, sometimes.

Today we threw him a small party at his school with all his classmates. He attends Toddler's class still so there weren't a lot of students in the class. He didn't notice this, of course. He had his classmates, presents, music, food, his sister, mommy and daddy. He was super active and having so much fun again. It kind of turned out to be a double celebration, when you think about it. Since the number was small and the kids were young, I served homemade spaghetti and chicken lollipop. For his cake, I baked chocolate cupcakes with sugar icing and candy sprinkles. I arranged 18 pieces in a round serving dish and placed 3 candles in the middle, one candle per center cupcake. It was quite successful! It looked like a Cupcake Cake. And of course, he loved it. Plus, this was much less expensive compared to even the ordinary but good cakes around. I wanted to place an actual picture here but I could not figure out how to zoom in on the cake and keep just the dish in the picture.

Instead, here are 2 pictures of cupcakes serving as birthday cakes:



These are pretty similar to what I did actually. Just imagine a much prettier, blue and white, round dish and the chocolate, candy sprinkled cupcakes arranged as they are on the picture to the right. Then I had just 3 candles for 3 cupcakes in the middle. Fantastic huh?

Well, the long weekend is coming up and I can't think of a better way to welcome it than with warm memories of my son's 3rd birthday. Now time to plan my daughter's 1st birthday coming in a few months. Waaaaaaah!!

Recipe for Motherhood

I found this picture in an interesting site for Baby Food and I thought it was cute.

I'm feeling quite sentimental about motherhood today.

Baby Milk

My daughter is turning 9 months next week, just as my son turns 3. Wow! How fast time flies. I much prefer the after 6 month time for babies though because I've always been afraid of very fragile babies (even my own!). I've been having so much fun with her now, as she progresses from crawling to standing and as she learns new, unintelligible syllables everyday. On the nutrition side, I've always been worried. I worry that I am giving my baby too much of one thing and not enough of another. With my son, I tried to stay within the milk portions for his age and size and then to go all-natural soon after I received the go ahead signal to give solids. With my daughter, it is rediscovering all these facts again. I thought I would remember seeing as their ages aren't too far apart but, perhaps due to the CS or my natural lack of ability to retain details, I don't.
So I was pleased to find this simple milk chart online.

Since she gets 4 7 oz. bottles a day she's still within the acceptable range. I was thinking about giving her 3-4 8 oz bottles after she turns 9 months and I am happy that that too still is within the acceptable range. Yippee!!

Tips for Sanity

I am sure every parent has experienced the complete and utter frustration brought about by a misbehaving child. I know I have. Just this morning in fact. And it really does not help keep my mommy guilt at bay. So I decided to look online for reasons and tips for misbehaving kids. Naturally, the reasons were nothing new to me: insecurity, lack of attention, perhaps frustration at not being able to properly articulate a want, being too young to consistently follow rules, etc. I've heard and read it all before. So, to keep myself from going out-of-my-mind insane, I focused on tips for dealing with misbehaving kids and I found 4 tips from an article by Dr. Ayesha Amir.

Here are her tips below:

Time Out
When It Works:
Few of the authors are big fans of time out, but recommend that you use it sparingly, for “whatever you consider to be the most serious discipline situations with your child.” Time out works well when children are hitting, damaging possessions, or engaging in unacceptable acts of aggression. The “timing” of time out is critical: Adhere to the “minute per age” rule (a five-year-old gets a five-minute time out). You can also choose to give toys a time out, if a child is throwing them, or give a child’s mouth a time out if he or she is swearing or saying something hurtful.

Why It Works:
When you remove children from a situation involving others, you deprive them of attention and a chance to be where the action is.

When It Does not Work:
When it is overused. Many parents use time out as a cure for all ills, only to discover its effectiveness erodes as it becomes the automatic response to every minor infraction. Time out does not work for problems like whining or “forgetting” to pick up your toys because cause and effect are not so clear (“You are in time out because you whined” does not ring true the way “You are in time out because you hit your sister” does).
Caution: Do not use a child’s bedroom as a time out zone, assuming there are books or toys or other amusements to keep him or her happy. Choose a toy-free location that’s away from other people, but still close enough so the child “can hear what everybody’s doing but not be able to be part of it.”
Good for Ages: 3-9.

I've tried this and it is hard!! First you have to pick a spot that will be the 'time out spot' so, suffice it to say, it won't have pleasant memories attached. And then to actually pick up your wailing child and endure the screams and the tears.....slow torture. But the few times I've used it resulted in a more subdued child after picking up and one who recognized the wrong that was done, at least for a while.

Charting
When It Works:
Keeping a chart, with stickers or stars to mark behavioural improvements, works well with chronic problems like whining or messy rooms, the types of things that drive parents crazy. Among other things, charting teaches delayed gratification, “that you do not automatically get things because you are cute, but because you earned it and waited for it.” In terms of effectiveness, charts and time-outs are polar opposites: Time out does not work when you use it all the time, while charts never work unless you do!

Why It Works:
A chart is a “visual cue” for kids; they do not just hear complaints or praise, they can actually see change. It is a way to get them involved in the discipline strategy; they can help make the chart or perhaps choose a reward.

When It Does not Work:
Keeping a chart can be a difficult task for kids with attention difficulties; lots of parental involvement is needed. Parents also need to assess their own schedules; if you start a chart and do not have time to keep it up, it undercuts the message that behavioural change is important. Finally, do not start 17 charts. Your child may whine, leave dirty socks lying around, and forget to do his homework, but focus on just one behaviour problem at a time.

Caution:
Do not promise a trip out of station in return for a semester’s worth of completed homework assignments. Even cards or candy bars are the wrong incentives. The authors urge parents to use “gifts of time” to reward kids for good behaviour. A family Monopoly tournament or a prized half-hour extension on bedtime send kids the message, “When you behave nicely, I want to be with you.” If there are no behavioural improvements within a week, the chart is probably not having its intended effect.
Good for Ages: 4-12.

I haven't tried this. My kids are not withing the age group anyway. And it looks like it would be difficult to maintain if you are a working mom. Has anyone tried this? Feedback?

Logical Consequences
When It Works:
Try this when a child does not do his homework, “forgets” to clean the litter box, or refuses to eat breakfast. In a nutshell, a logical consequence is the process of discovering that if you do not eat, you will become hungry. Grades will fall if homework is not completed; the house will smell if the litter box is not changed.

Why It Works:
It allows children to learn first-hand what will (or will not) happen as a result of their actions (or inactions.) Too often parents try to protect children from the consequences of what they do, depriving them of the chance to learn important life lessons. Using a logical consequences approach to discipline eliminates power struggles between parents and kids by keeping the focus on the child’s behaviour (“I see you forgot to clean the litter box again, Saira. Gee, maybe tomorrow we will relocate it to your room since the smell apparently does not bother you.”)

When it doesn’t work:
In dangerous situations. A child caught playing with matches should not be encouraged to experience the logical consequence of getting burned.
Good for Ages: 6 and up

My kids aren't of this age group either but I've tried it a few times and it seems to work but you have to keep at it before you see the effect. The child will usually show the logical process after some repetition. Only tough part is differentiating what is understandable at younger ages.

House rules
When it works:
House rules are an effective, pro-active strategy when children know what the rules are, and what will happen if they are broken. Example: It is a house rule that homework has to be done before the TV goes on. If the homework’s not done, you lose TV privileges for a set amount of time.

Why it works:
It eliminates the need for parents to think on their feet, by making expectations within the household very clear and consistent. It also gives kids a chance to voice their opinions about what the rules should be and how they should be applied. Many families post house rules in a prominent place in the household.

When it doesn’t work:
House rules fail to improve behavior when adults make them up arbitrarily, with little or no input from children, or when they fail to follow through. If parents ignore a broken curfew, for instance, house rules will cease to have any meaning and kids will ignore them.
Good for Ages: 4 and up.

I use this a lot, and for the most part, it works. But consistency really is key and this is hard to monitor if you are out of the house and your kids are with their yaya's. I try to keep everything written down, simple, in Filipino, and easily accessible (like on the fridge) for easy reference. I also try not to expect the yaya's to remember too much. Simple rules like eating schedules, play time, tv time, and reading time are usually easy to leave to someone else to follow.

I know there are probably volumes worth of other advice and tips out there. These are welcome. I am always open to new, possibly easier, and possibly more effective tips for dealing with misbehaving kids.

Landslide

I was staring out the window of my taxi cab earlier today when 'Landslide' started playing on my mp3 player. This is one of my all-time favorite songs and every time I hear it different images come to mind. This time it reminded me of my parents. It's interesting to notice how different one sees his/her parents after becoming a parent themselves. I always think "where did that decision come from?" and " what was the thought process there?" Sometimes I ask myself "would I have done that, acted that way, said that?" and "what would I have done differently?" And then of course the inevitable line of thinking- "will my children see this way?" and "what will our relationship be like?" and "will I be able to let them go when the time comes and will I know when that time will be?"
I think I should stop listening to my mp3 player for a while. Too many associated thoughts running at warp speed at the same time in my head shouldn't be too healthy.

Here are the lyrics:

Landslide
by Fleetwood Mac

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
till the landslide brought me down

Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love
Can the child within my heart rise above
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides
Can I handle the seasons of my life

Well, Ive been afraid of changing
cause Ive built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Children get older
Im getting older too

Oh, take my love, take it down
Climb a mountain and turn around
If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring it down

If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well maybe the landslide will bring it down

Isn't it a beautiful song? Ah, the exquisite pain of it all.