Monday, November 24, 2008


I haven't explicitly stated this before (I think) but my biggest fear is the fear of failure. Everything else stems from there. I don't know where this came from or how this began, but it is definitely there. And it is, now more than ever, standing in the way of things I KNOW are better for me. I need to get over this somehow because the effect of this fear is paralysis and I can't not move. I have to act. I have to be strong. I have to be brave. I think I'm gonna be sick.


yanka said...

You're beginning to scare me now. I'm getting these feelings but I hope I'm wrong.

Avril said...

I struggled with that for awhile. I learned though that just because you don't do something, it doesn't mean that you failed at it. Maybe you just chose not to do it.

Here's the thing, to me, failure means that I could not do something I was trying to do. Sometimes though, we choose not to do things. For example if you chose to stop baking, that wouldn't make you a bad baker. You would just be someone who stopped baking.

Just a though because I used to feel that I would be failure if I didn't do certain things...thing is, I realized I didn't really want to do them anyway.

vicki said...

I don't think it's what you're thinking Yanka. Let's go for coffee soon.

Affie, I see what you're saying and my mind accepts that angle. But everything else hasn't followed. Stubborn. Tsk, tsk.