Tuesday, November 18, 2008

That Thing Called Debt

About a year and a half ago, I took out a pretty substantial salary loan. My reasons back then were that I needed this amount to tide me over the 78 full days I was taking off for maternity leave. I didn't take all 78 days with my first born. I just took 30 days in fact and I've always regretted it. So I was preparing myself to do the opposite this time around. And that loan did serve it's purpose somewhat. It covered me the half month before I went on leave that I had to go part time and the other half month after the 78 days that I requested as an extension. Yes, it served me well then.
But today I live credit card free. This means all my transactions are strictly cash or debit card basis. And I find that I am surviving well enough. Ok, not better than before, but not worse either. The thing is, it's interest free and there is no accumulated debt. The times when I have no more cash and I have a need, my hubby somehow finds a way. And, while this makes me feel guilty, it doensn't increase this guilt or decrease it. This guilt is already there and I think it would take an entirely different thing to ease or erase that. Anyway, I digress. My point is, now that I see that it is entirely possible to survive (and I am referring to my situation only) with the cash I have, I regret getting that loan. The amount I pay every month could go to savings. I also know now that I can set aside that amount without too much pain. Ah, hindsight really is 20/20. I now have to find comfort in the fact that at least I am half way done paying off that loan. Perhaps a miracle will happen that will enable me to pay off the balance sooner. Divine intervention please!

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