Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Role Reversal

Do you ever feel like sometimes you are the Parent and your Parent(s) the child/children? I seem to be feeling that a lot these past few months. It's led me to think deeply if what I believe and stand by make sense or if I am being an unreasonable, narrow-minded person.
I was discussing this topic with Livi the other day and I was telling her how my being a parent now sheds so much light on the lives and decisions of my parents- both in the positive and negative sense.

For the Positives:
1. I understand more than ever how you can love another person (or persons, if you have more than 1 kid as I do) 1000% more than anything else in the world, including your own parents.
2. I understand what my parents meant when they used the words sacrifice and parenthood in the same sentence.
3. I now know where the unlimited, never-ending worry from my parent's came from. It's like you want to take on all the bad things in the world just to, at the very least, divert attention from your kids, so that they may go on with their lives worry-free and undetected.
4. There are so many other realizations that I can't name them all.

For the Negatives (I speak only for myself):
1. I wonder how one can ever think of oneself more than their child.
2. I wonder how one could ever cause their child hurt.
3. I wonder how one could ever make their child feel like, in the end, they are JUST a child.

I don't know how to reconcile the negatives and the positives when they involve the same set of people. It makes sense and is contradictory at the same time. I wonder if anyone else feels this way at all or ever. Or am I being a bad child for even thinking such things. I'm back to questioning whether I make sense or if everyone else just sees it all better and more correct than I do. Will I ever get the answers?

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