Monday, October 6, 2008

I Wish it Were..........

I've been talking to a lot of friend's celebrating the passing of the year for something or the other recently, and the common thing I've heard is that "I wish it were X (some year or a number of years in the past)." It got me thinking about life, and decisions, and the past.
If I were to choose a year and an age to go back to these would have to be 23 and 1998 respectively, for different reasons. At 23, I had just graduated and so I felt that I could finally get out there and conquer the world. Yes, there was a time when I was more optimistic than not. And in 1998, I was right in the middle of my studies in the UK- what I consider one of the best times of my life. If there are periods I would like to pause, these would be it. Sometimes I think about these periods and the me in these periods and I wonder where she went. I think I was a lot more fun and easygoing then. Has real life really jaded me? I don't know.
But then again I've been trying to live the idea of 'no regrets'. I really believe these are a waste of time. What's the point of regretting? You can't turn back time and redo or relive anything. And if I could, would I really want to? That's the golden question isn't it? Some would say, just learn from past mistakes and move on. But the one, and it seems the only, lesson History ever teaches us is that we never learn from History.
So what's the deal in the end? I think I would prefer to stay in the now, to think about but not look too long and hard at the past, and to try my darndest to make today the best time of my life.

5 comments:

**meg** said...

People choose who they are and will be. You're still that person. It's just that some priorities have changed.

yanka said...

Have you seen "The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"? It's one of my all-time favorite movies. Your post reminded me of it. :-)

vicki said...

Hey Meg, you're right, you're right. I know you're right. I will keep repeating this until it sinks in.hehehehe.

Yanka, is it good? I've heard of that movie but I haven't seen it. Hmmmmmm.....

yanka said...

It is stunning. You will be reduced ... to tears, to awe, to whatever. But you will be reduced.

vicki said...

oh I think I can take reduction, but I suspect what I am referring to is not what you mean. hehehe. I don't think I have anything to spare for reduction in that area.