Things to Remember

I told myself last week that I would post create a series of posts, written at the end of the week, outlining 3-5 funny, memorable things my kids did over the weekend and week. The purpose of this was really to do two things: to give myself an extra boost at the end or the week, and to create a 'journal' of things about my kids that I can look back on.

Naturally, I was so busy last week that I had no time to blog. So I decided to write last week's post today. I will be doing this every Friday though.

Things to Remember.....

...about my son.
1. We went to Pizza Hut to look at their birthday party packages and someone was having a birthday party at the same time. When the mascot came out, my son ran to me and gripped me really tightly around the legs and waist. I know this fear isn't funny but it was what he said and how he looked that made me struggle really hard to contain my laughter. His face crumpled into an intense frown and he said, "Mommy, I'm afraid to the mascot!". Ok, it probably doesn't make much sense here but he looked so outraged that it was cute.
2. One morning, after finally arranging the last tray of freshly baked cupcakes, my son comes down, takes one look at the array on the table and says "Mommy, can I have a cupcake? I like it!" with perfect intonation for a question.
3. After coming home from a shopping trip with his dad, my son runs up to me gripping one of those clay dwarf ornaments for the garden. He is, of course, so proud about his purchase. So I ask him for the name of his garden gnome. He thinks for a while, looks at me with a smile, and then says "Edward!". My little boy is all grown-up.

...about my daughter.
1. she's been able to do this for a while but it's so cute I have to place it here. I sing her the Itsy Bitsy Spider rhyme every time she starts to cry and when she wakes up at night and I carry her to our bed to lounge for a short while. At first, she would just stare at my hand gestures and smile. Now she copies the gestures (with one hand- so cute) and finishes off with a toothy grin and hands clapping.
2. when she hears music, most kinds of music, she starts to rock back and forth. This is her dance. The funny thing is, she does this when I say "dance, dance!" even without music.
3. She is now practicing walking so it's soooo cute when she just screams at the top of her lungs, with a big grin, every time she is put down to walk.

I hope I'll be able to keep this activity up. It's therapeutic in a way. I couldn't help but smile while writing. And it made me feel closer to my kids, and took away a teensy weensy bit of that mommy guilt. I hope I'll be able to keep this up.

Tag Time

Livi tagged me, so here goes:

1. What color is your toothbrush? yellow

2. Name one person that made you smile today? my 2 kiddos. sorry, they both did.

3. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? organizing my planner

4. What is your favorite candy bar? I don't rally like candy.

5. Have you ever been to a strip club? yup

6. What is the last thing you said aloud? Have a good weekend.

7. What is the best ice cream flavor? French Vanilla

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Coffee

10. What are you wearing right now? jeans and a black top.

11. What was the last thing you ate? salmon in lemon butter sauce

12. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? nope, but I really want to

13. When was the last time you ran? uhhhhhhh.......yesterday, to chase the elevator.

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? white cheese

15. Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on friendster? CJ

16. Do you take vitamins daily? nope, they give me pimples

17. Do you like Chinese food better than pizza? depends on my mood

18. Do you drink your soda with a straw? I don't like soda either.

19. What did your last text message say? Ateneo Business School

20. What are you doing tomorrow? a lot of things.

21. Where is your dad? at his place

22. Look to your left, what do you see? Olivia

23. What color is your watch? white

24. What do you think of when you think of Australia? sun, sand, sun

25. Do you use chapstick? nope, I don't like the taste

26. What is your birthstone color? green (yuck)

27. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive through? depends. If I'm at the mall, I go in. If I'm anywhere else I usually drive through.

28. What’s your favorite number? 8

29. Do you have a dog? I used to.

30. Last guy you talked on the phone with? my hubby

31. Last girl you talked on the phone with? trix, my best friend

32. Have you met anyone famous? yup. no great shakes though.

33. Any plans today? I wish!

34. Ever go to college? naturally

35. Do you dye your hair? sometimes

36. Last song listened to? something about trains stopping by John Mayer

37. Can you say the alphabet backwards? hell no!

38. Do you have a maid service clean your house? yes

39. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? I don't have a favorite. I like shoes in general.

40. Are you jealous of anyone? not really

41. Is anyone jealous of you? I don't know

42. Do you love anyone? yes

43. Do any of your friends have children? a lot do

44. What do you usually do during the day? spend time with my 2 kids

45. Do you hate anyone that you know right now? yes

46. Do you use the word ‘hello’ daily? yes

47. Do you like cats? NO

48. Have you ever been to Six Flags? nope

49. How did you get your worst scar? through giving birth

50. What is it that you wanted to have in a long time but haven't? odd question. I've wanted to have a lot of things for the longest time but haven't been able to get them mostly for financial reasons. Too many to list. I also haven't done a lot of things I've been used to doing in a long time due mostly to time issues and finances also. again, too long to list.

Tagging Ree, Meg,Yanka

Baby Food Update #2

So the baby food thing has been going well. I now have the schedule pretty regularized. I make 2 kinds of food twice a week. Ok, I've only been doing this for about 2 weeks but so far so good. For my 2nd "dish" I decided to try a different meat. So I boiled some lean pork and pureed when it was cold. I added some sweet potato and papaya to it. It looked interesting but I can't say much for the taste. This is because, again, I don't like either sweet potato or papaya. But they are good for the digestion and my daughter's digestion is like mine, bad, so I decided it would be a good idea to give her this added fiber. The frozen cubes were a bit grainy and separated when thawed so I bought a tub of plain yogurt and mixed a couple of teaspoons into the mix. What do you know? It thickened right up. I made the consistency kind of chunky this time to get her to start chewing more. She didn't take to it as quickly as the chicken-squash-apple dish but she got into it eventually.
For my third "dish" I tried beef. Now this was a disaster! I followed the instructions from this great baby food site, wholesome baby food, for all my purees so I was confident that the beef would be just as good. It turned out stinky and not too great looking. I threw it away. I know, waste of food but I just couldn't bring myself to give that to my daughter. I will try it again though, with a few changes here and there. Updates on that to follow.
So for this week I made chicken again, primarily because this was the meat I had on hand. But to spruce it up I mixed it with sweet potato and pineapple. Perfect for the fiber again. Plus, the pineapple packs a lot of natural flavor. It actually seemed to me like the baby version of 'Pinyang Manok'. She loved it! I also added some rice to her dish, just before she was about to eat. She loved that too.
I am so pleased at how this is all going. I am thinking though that I want to add more flavor to the dishes so I am thinking of cooking the food before pureeing, meaning doing more than the regular boil. I am also thinking of a fish dish next. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that all continues to go well.

Joy Luck Club Wisdom

As I was waiting for my batch of fudge bars to bake, I stumbled on 'Joy Luck Club' on HBO. I love this movie. I admit, I haven't read the book. And I always mean to do so. The book oftentimes is better than the movie, after all. But every time I watch the movie I just feel like I don't really need to read the book anymore. The movie itself already has a lot to reflect on. I won't go into all of the things I reflect on here, because that would just be too long. I will say though that the one thought that ALWAYS pops into my head when I watch this film is, I wish I had that wisdom, that I could sit and get that wisdom from my mom, and that I could share that wisdom with my daughter when she's old enough. I don't wish for the hardships each woman endured to gain that wisdom though. And so I guess therein lies the clincher. I wonder, do I have to go through pain that is the 'walk on my bare hands and knees on live, hot coal, then soak my wounds in salted, vinegary water' kind before I gain this wisdom.

Sigh. I thought the best things in life were free.

I am a Fan

I have to say I love One Tree Hill. I am not the kind to always watch comedy. I much prefer drama and mystery. So I like shows like Damages, Brothers and Sisters, and Law and Order. And One Tree Hill. It might seem like a show that teenagers would watch. I'm not sure about the target demographic but I assume this. So, based on that assumption, I am a bit old to still be watching the show. But I can't help it. I love it. It used to just remind me of College in the Uk (mixed in with Felicity). But now, I just love it for the drama that it is.
I love that the characters all look so good but are all so tortured. I love the Lucas-Payton love story, love how their story began, love that he wrote a book for her, love that they have such a dramatic affair, and love how they always seem to find their way back to each other. I love how they give each other these looks that just steal your breath. I know, I know. This is fiction, acting, it is not real. They are not real people. But again, I can't help but feel like they are and, consequently, get affected by their trials, by their victories, and by their reflections, all the while rooting for them from my bed, every week, over popcorn, with a box of Kleenex. It doesn't help that they play GREAT music! Each and every song matches the drama of the particular scene to a tee.
I love this show. It's my drama drug every week, with the music as an adrenaline bonus. I am unashamedly a huge fan.

5 Things I Said I Would Never Say/Do

(photo courtesy of Corbis)

I saw a post on Happy Healthy Families and it inspired me to think and make a similar list.

What are some of the things I said I would never say or do to my kids? This is a tough subject for me. I never really thought much about what I would once I had kids because I planned to have kids a lot later than I actually did. Of course, my 2 adorable angels are the best gifts and surprises I've ever received. Still....thinking back...this is tough.

So, here goes:

What I told myself I would never say/do to my kids:

1. I told myself I would never raise my voice for any reason other than to be better heard and understood.--- ha! This, I really try to follow. But sometimes, when you're tired, and you still have a million things to do with so little time left in the day, and your 3-year old is running around the living room missing big, painful, breakable things by a hair, and your baby girl is crying her eyes out for you to carry her....this can be forgotten. But a millisecond after I feel so bad and I remember to just take a deep breath and calm down. Of course, the voice raising has been done...

2. I told myself I would never answer a "why" question with a "because." or a "because I said so" or "it just that way."- Sigh. My son would sometimes ask me "Mommy? What's that?", pointing at some innocuous thing. I would tell him what that this was, which would be followed by "for?" (meaning 'for what?'). Of course, I would tell him the use of the harmless object. And then he would proceed to ask me the same question, in the same tone, but referring to the object directly beside the previous object. And this would sometimes go on and on until all objects on the now-offending shelf have been named and defined. So....on the 10th item..I sometimes just say, "that's the way it is." It's cute, yes, and I love his wonderful curiosity but sometimes I give up. Just because.

3. I told myself I would not allow my kids to drink commercial juice. -This didn't stand a chance. At least I have stuck to the 'no soda' rule.

4. I told myself that I would not let the yaya handle my kids more than me. -Unfortunately, this is not a full-time working mom's reality. At least not this working mom. Ok mommy guilt, you can come out now.

5. I told myself I would never be a distant mom. -This one I have followed! I always sit down and talk to my kids, ask them about their activities, play with them, hug and kiss them as often as I can.

There may be other things but these five are the things that come to mind now. Looking at my list I can't help but think, not bad. Maybe I'm not doing so badly after all.

I am a Migraineur

I haven't been able to post regularly these past few days because I've been redoing my schedule (again). Ever since the hubby decided to tell me over and over again not to waste my "talent", I've been feeling guilty about not maximizing my time. So, now I sleep less (about 6 hours a night) and then I'm up and at 'em for the rest of the day. I know, some people would say "6 hours is ideal! or 6 hours is more than enough time to rest!". The thing is, get these head-splitting, brain-melting migraines if I have less than 6 hours of sleep or if those 6 hours are interrupted in any way. It's a terrible situation, really. Gone are the days of 2-hour a night sleep cramming for an exam or coming from a party. I actually never had these migraines until around 4 years ago. I don't know why I suddenly started having them. I also found out that I have cluster migraines. If I remember correctly, these are a series of migraines. How one can tell that a migraine has ended and another one begun, while having these pains, is beyond me. Anyway, I suffer from these too. And after asking doctor after doctor I've discovered that there is no real cure but you can identify the triggers to avoid getting one. And my triggers (at least the ones I;ve been able to identify) are:

1. lack of or interrupted sleep
2. stress
3. steamed peanuts
4. extreme heat

These days I've been good about avoiding the peanuts and the heat. But the other two are winning the war. Hence, reorganizing my schedule. Hopefulle I'll be able to slide in a slot for blogging. This helps with number 2. hehe.

For more interesting info about migraines, click here.

The Problem with the Little Things

I have been quite busy lately which hasn't been very good for my blogging. This has, after all, become a form of therapy for me. My QA buddies often say that my whining has significantly decreased ever since I moved it to this blog. And when I don't get to whine, I feel.....full. Full of bad thoughts, and emotions, and yuckiness.

Hence this post. I have, over the past few days, been getting increasingly irritable and my annoyance sprouts most often from little things. Allow me to list some of the most recent ones:

It's annoying how....

-people do not queue for the elevator, when there is obviously a queue, and when a queue is definitely necessary because one of the three elevators is down.
-when a building can spend so much on paint and tiles but not seem to bother about that metal box that transports their tenants to offices on the different floors.
-when you are blessed with an abusive (in terms of fare) taxi driver.
-when you have to carry four big trays of food with no covers.
-when you have to balance these four big trays because they have no covers.
-when you encounter competition which is supposed to be healthy but just ends up stressing you out because it threatens your income.
-when you have a slow laptop when you need for it to be fast.
-when none of the windows you need open on time.
-when your phone line is either sucky on your end or the other end.
-when you can't offset hours because your schedule is pegged.
-when you enter a room and no one is there, and you have no idea where they are.
-when you have to sit in a crammed van and wait for an hour before leaving for home because cabs are just too expensive these days.

I can go on and on but I will stop there for now. I can feel my chest loosen up a bit after that release. Wonder how long this feeling will last?

Strength and Sacrifice

I've been thinking about strength and sacrifice lately. Friends have often called me brave and strong. To be honest, I've never felt these two traits ever. I often think of myself as cowardly and weak, especially in times of great challenge. Such a great challenge was presented to me last night by, none other than, my hubby! He's been telling me for almost 5 years now (on and off) to take my 'talent' to the next level and start a business. And I've been putting it off forever. But I've been taking a look around me and I've begun to think, just now, that perhaps he has a point. You really have to give him credit for his efforts to convince me. He's been throwing Reader's Digest success stories and links to entrepreneurs articles at me for weeks now. I listened, of course, and the main points I remembered (which I honestly have already know for a while) were:

1. Nothing that is worth anything is easy.
2. No pain, no gain.
3. In the beginning it is always hard and there is always sacrifice.
4. Believe in yourself.
5. Work like a demon.
6. Pray like crazy that God or all the Gods (whichever you believe in) will reward your efforts with success.

Almost all the success stories have at least 4 of these points in their scripts. I have a problem with the sacrifice part. I always end up asking myself if it's worth it. And, for those who know me well or who have been following my blog, you would know that my mommy guilt is strong, always trying to break the surface of my tightly-reigned self-control, and always throwing a million unanswerable questions at me. And I have to admit that, right now, fear is joining forces with my mommy guilt in waging a war against my strength and sacrifice. And so back again I am to the point of- I really don't feel strong or brave, but I know I have to BE strong and brave if I want to take my hubby's advice and move to the next level.

Entourage is GREAT!

This show has been on since 2004 and I've seen it on 2 different cable channels but I have to admit I didn't stop to watch it until last night. Somehow the idea of watching a show about guys hanging out and being guys didn't appeal to me. I mean, come on. I have an older and younger brother so, suffice it to say, I have been surrounded by guys (their friends included) all my life. I thought, no mystery here.

I was pleasantly surprised.

The show is actually very funny. I know, I hear snorting. My brand of humor is not the popular type. It actually most of the time isn't the intelligible kind either. But this show is great! It's about this up and coming actor Vince and his life in Hollywood with his childhood friends and brother, who also happens to be an actor (albeit an older, struggling, more washed out one). It is funny, funny, funny! Yes, they are guys being guys. But they aren't a*$h*!@s. They aren't condescending or patronizing, nor do they play any of the other stereotypical guy roles. The show really focuses more on the friendships and how this plays a very important part in the way events unfold. I like to think of it as a guy Sex and the City because of the friendship part (not the sex or the city obviously). Another good thing is a guy will actually watch this show. Well, at least my hubby did. And he found it funny. (Now his sense of humor is more recognizable so this has to count for something). I recommend this show for those lazy nights with the hubby or the boyfriend, over a bowl of buttery popcorn, or even steaming mugs of coffee/tea/chocolate. And watch it from the first season so it makes more sense.

Baby Food Update

As planned, I have begun my homemade baby food process. I said I would do it after next payday, next payday has come and gone, and now....I am on my way.

Over the weekend I made my first batch of homemade baby food. Since my daughter has been eating chicken, mixed veggies, and mixed fruits already, I tried not to stray from the familiar for my first try. So I made her chicken with squash and apples, carrots, squash. I combined them to make chicken-squash and apple-carrot-squash batches. They were very easy to make! I just needed to boil a whole lot of things and then puree away. It was actually a lot of fun. I liked the taste of the chicken-squash mixture more than the apple-carrot-squash mix but this is probably because I don't like apples or carrots. It did have a sweetish taste though which I though was perfect to sweeten the chicken mix. I bought these rubber ice trays, 2 big ones, which I used to freeze her food. Perfect!

The best part is, she likes the food! I am so pleased. I get to feed her stuff I am sure of because, well, I make them. Plus, savings!

Next project would be beef and fish. I am thinking of incorporating yogurt and cheese but I am not sure how yet. She should be able to take them already since she's 9.5 months. Any suggestions?

Social Anxiety

Your Social Anxiety Level: 32%

You have low social anxiety. Of course very unfamiliar or strange situations make you uncomfortable. But you can pull through and handle almost any social occasion with grace.

Are You Socially Anxious?

I found this result interesting (in the way the word is meant to be understood) and quite funny. I should feel better then.

Letting Go

I've kind of been proud that I have the ability to recognize (ok, mostly for non-personal things) when to let go and move on, when to accept change, and how to deal with this and adapt. I find though, that letting go and adapting has been quite difficult for me to do these past 2 weeks. I understand that this has to be done, that things are not the way they were anymore, that I need to accept and move on. But this precious step has been eluding me. Numi told me that once I rewire the way I see what I am tasked with now, things will become so much easier. But I can't seem to find the wires to rewire. Does that make sense? I just know I've been feeling jumbled up, and unstable, and like I am constantly in transition. And, if you know me, you would know that these are the least desirable adjectives in my repertoire.

I just hope that I can adjust already and get on with it. Because although things should be much simpler now, they are just a lot more stressful.

Carrie's Lessons are Mine

I was listening to this song on my brand new mp4 player on the way to work. Again, I had one of those "on-the-way-to-work" thoughts. I realized that parts of this song show how I really feel about my life so far and other parts are thoughts I wish I could really think, feel, and do. I won't elaborate as to what those parts are. Haha.

"Lessons Learned"

There's some things that I regret,
Some words I wish had gone unsaid,
Some starts,
That had some bitter endings,
Been some bad times I've been through,
Damage I cannot undo,
Some things,
I wish I could do all all over again,
But it don't really matter,
Life gets that much harder,
It makes you that much stronger,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

There's mistakes that I have made,
Some chances I just threw away,
Some roads,
I never should've taken,
Been some signs I didn't see,
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,
Some wounds,
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,
But it don't make no difference,
The past can't be rewritten,
You get the life you're given,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned.

And all the things that break you,
Are all the things that make you strong,
You can't change the past,
Cause it's gone,
And you just gotta move on,
Because it's all,
Lessons learned.

[Chorus:]
And every tear that had to fall from my eyes,
Everyday I wondered how I'd get through the night,
Every change, life has thrown me,
I'm thankful, for every break in my heart,
I'm grateful, for every scar,
Some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Oh, some pages turned,
Some bridges burned,
But there were lessons learned,
Lessons learned.


I looooooove Bo Bice. I really wanted him to win AI. But today, Carrie rocks!

For Tara

I don't know her personally but I think what happened to her was terrible. Please go to the benefit concert held for her at 70's Bistro. Details in the poster to the right:

If you can't make it, please spread the word. Any kind of help would be most welcome.

If you don't know what happened to her, click on this link to find out.

(Thanks Numi for the link).

Serenity

Full Original Serenity Prayer
by Reinhold Niebuhr (1892-1971)

God, give us grace to accept with serenity
the things that cannot be changed,
Courage to change the things
which should be changed,
and the Wisdom to distinguish
the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,
Taking, as Jesus did,
This sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it,
Trusting that You will make all things right,
If I surrender to Your will,
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with You forever in the next.

Amen.

I've been praying this prayer a lot over the past week, well, at least the first part. Which is lucky for me since I don't like the use of "reasonably" in the second part of prayer. It's been working 9/10 times in helping me fall asleep. My mind just works and works even when I am not doing anything and this is even more so if I am particularly stressed about something (and I've had a number of somethings the past few days). I found this quote online today:

The teacher is within,
So you have to learn to be still.
You have to live your life
So that you are listening within
No matter what you are doing.
-Bartholomew

I am hoping this will be additional help. So far no effect though. *Sigh